Check it. I have dubbed myself Queen of da Hood. I love da hood. It’s full of personality and different people. I get soooo much attention! I stand out from the crowd. I don’t know how I would survive here with all of this attention!
The hood rats love me here. The second I stepped out from my crib-- no-- before even planting my foot on the step, I hear honk honk honk! I keep walking. Honk honk honk! I turn around. Honk honk! I stop and stare at that fly, red Camaro with rap music blasting out of it. The driver and the passenger were waving at me. I walked closer to see if I knew them. Not that I would, but I’m kind of a big deal in da hood. Word.
They made a right turn at the light and parked. The two B’s got out of their car.
“Do I know you?” I said.
“No. I want your phone number though!” B1 said.
B2 handed me a postcard for childcare services.
“Thanks, but I don’t have kids,” I said.
“Give it to someone you know,” B2 said.
B1 asked for my name and phone number. I gave him the real deal for the good of the blog…and because I did not want to get raped.
“You’ll call me, (my name)?” B1 said.
“Yes,” I said without hesitation (for pranks).
“Bring a friend,” B2 said.
Disbeliever, you have a date!
This is only the beginning. More to come, hood rats!
Keepin’ it real,
Realist
You left out the childcare services on the phone that makes this story 10000 times better!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDude, you are so much more 'hood than I am. If someone was honking at me from the car and then pulled over and got out and walked toward me, I would have been afraid I would be attacked!
ReplyDeleteI know how they do! It's the hood norm. You gotta be tough and brave! If you show weakness, they will take advantage of that. Only the strong survive!
ReplyDeleteI know how they do! WoW you really transformed... You have to brush up on that slang though... When you see the gay.. I have stuff for you to tell him..
ReplyDelete