So much for Makeup Man

I met Makeup Man online. He is a product developer for a major cosmetics company (sort of a lipstick lab rat). He seemed promising because he was unusually more of a gentleman than a lot of other guys who pop up online (sad as it is to say, it doesn't take much). He was proactive in reaching out to me, he was responsive and understanding to my requests (like wanting to meet up right away rather than pointless message exchanges over and over). We chatted briefly on the phone a few days before we met, and he seemed sweet and genuine, and it was nice that we seemed to see eye to eye on some things (at least from what I could tell this early on). I was optimistic. After probing a bit about my food preferences/limitations, he even came up with a place for us to meet on his own, and suggested a place in my town. May seem like a small thing to some people, but I very much appreciated it.

The place that he picked out was a great bar in town with excellent food. I hadn't been there before, but now that I know about it, I'll definitely have to go back. Very cozy, nice unpretentious crowd, kind of small, and a towny bar without being too divey. I loved it. He was very nice--almost your stereotypical "nice guy"--the kind of guy who is friends with all the girls because he's "safe," kind of a nerd, happy-go-lucky, and generally a gentleman. I could tell that very easily about him. But I kept searching for any kind of chemistry. It wasn't there. If I had met him in other circumstances, (and I realize how bad this sounds), I would have been convinced he was gay. He actually reminded me a lot of one of my closest gay friends (which may contribute to it). And I kept asking myself, do I want to hug him? Can I see myself kissing him? Is there a spark in our conversation at least? I kept coming up empty. I can do a good job keeping up a sparkling conversation, but even the conversation was quite forced, and I should have cut the evening shorter than I did, but am a sucker for being polite, so I agreed to a second drink.

On the sidewalk was time for the awkward goodbye. He asked if I'd like to do this again sometime, and I said sure (I regretted it as soon as it came out of my mouth. What can I say--I'm a total wimp and hate being put on the spot. How could I say no to his face? I've got to work on that). He went for the kiss, but I did manage to give him a cheek, and then promptly made my escape.

I walked home from there shaking my head at myself. Another one bites the dust, and now I have to figure out a way to let this guy down. As I'm writing this post, I got a text from him. Trying to get up the courage to cut the cord. *sigh*

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic