I'm not sure I can even call it a relationship yet

I thought new relationships were supposed to be exciting.  I guess that's because for my own past relationships, the very beginning was when we just couldn't spend enough time together and it was all we could think about and it was just blissfully happy.  Tra la la.

But... I also got badly burned in the end.

I'm not sure if I'm doing things wrong this time, or if I had been doing it wrong all along.  It could be that getting burned has made me very scared and protective of myself.  Whatever is going on, this time is very different.  Taking things verrrrry slow.  I'll let you know how it turns out.  Stay tuned.  :)


Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

As if I need any other reason

Reason #51 why I don't like clubs:  unsolicited dance floor grinding.  I don't want to feel your thing before I see your face, thankyouverymuch.

That is all.


Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Oh, what the hell.

I really am a good girl.

I don't lie, I don't cheat.  I don't leave work early, I don't exaggerate on my resume, and I'm honest on my taxes.  I am also incapable of dating more than one person at the same time.  Some say I'm really picky about who I date.  Maybe I am.  A little.

So from that standpoint, I suppose making out with a strange guy in a bar counts for "going wild" in my book.  Right?

I don't intend to repeat such crazy behavior often.  And it wasn't about that guy (who, as it turns out, is from Ireland and just out of University working in the States installing sheetrock--um, does that make me a cougar?), and it wasn't about the making out (although it has been far too long).  Rather, it was mostly about something in me that just wanted to do something out of character, something memorable and non-routine, something to make me feel alive and wanted.

Check, check, check.


Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Half-Fasters

So I get this phone call today from this half-faster.

The background information: This guy is a former friend's ex bf.
I'm suddenly available "meat" to this guy.

He calls me today, saying, "I have something I got to ask you, but I can't say it." I just kind blow this question off. It was weird!
He then proceeds to talk about running forever!
He gets back onto having to ask me something, but he can't do it.
I asked, "What is it?" Nothing gets to me when it comes to embarrassment.

To make a long story short, guys must commit when asking a female out!
I know he is going to call back in a few days with enough balls to complete the asking out task. Unless he read this then he won't call. I don't know. So far we have almost 6,000 hits. I know you people are reading. Do I know who? Nope. Do I care? Not really. Haha.

Fully commit when you ask girls out!
Here is the line you have to say:
Would you like to go to _________ for dinner (insert Monday,Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday here)? You must insert the day here otherwise I'd def blow the guy off. I wouldn't think he is serious at all. Especially if you use this exact format. But I can't say no to a fan of the blog!

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Cosmopolitan: August Edition

Dear Cosmo,

Can you please change? I wasn't feeling this month's issue at all...
Can you be anymore redundant?

Used- to- be- Love,
The Disbeliever

Miss Kim Kardashian is on the cover? What does this girl do?
Why is she every guy's dream? I don't know...
She is pretty, but work out your ass.

I had a lot of wants this issue: I want a gold 14k style dress (just like Miss Taylor Swift in her Covergirl ad), Lancome Paris makeup eye shadow, Nike Lunarlon running kicks, Maybelline falsies mascara, Crackle nai lpolish... Ok.. I'm off track this is not guy related. They definitely did a great job selling products this issue. That's about it though. The articles stunk!

Some highlights are: "How Old Should You Be When You Get Married" (p. 40) Woman should hold off until their late 20s. The reason for this is because it gives you more time to learn about yourself. Um, makes sense to me... I'm mid-20s now men haha.. Just so y'all are aware of my situation.

"Being Buds with Your Ex" (p. 45) Yeah it ended, but you and your former fling shared pretty key moments.Why not bury the hatchet and hang out? I cannot bury the hatchet if it is still in my ex's back. Haha just kidding. I don't understand why this magazine is saying to hang out with an ex. Time is limited! Why waste time on something that already didn't work out for whatever reason?

"How Kim Stays On Top" (p. 46) Kim Kardashian's article. I read it. Didn't pull anything good out of it. Can I have my five minutes back? The only good thing about this article is the title.

"The Sexy Confidence Guys Love" (p.53) Good old Justin Timberlake. What does this man want? He wants"

• Don't give a Damn- He likes a woman who doesn't personally care if others like her
• Tell an X-Rated Joke- Nothing better than a pretty girl with a nasty mouth
• Know Your Style- Wear what feels best for you
• Try Anything Once- Don't shut anything down without considering it
• Let Him Do All the Work- Enjoy the experience of what's happening now, instead of planning what is yet to come
• Own your Emotions- Guts to say exactly how you feel
• Be a Babe Among Boys- Hang with the guys. Don't try to be one
• Call Him Out- Calmly explain if he messes up in your relationship

Thanks for the good advice JT. Call me anytime day or night. I'm what your looking for haha...

36% of men say they are more attracted to a woman if she is using an IPad. (p. 68) EWWWWW!

"A Cosmo App for Your Guy" (p. 69) How many guys would really get this? Ever wish your BF or husband had the magical ability to know exactly what you want? Guess what! It's not going to happen so just tell him. A Cosmo App will not solve this issue.

"Do you notice if your girlfriend could use a pedi?" (p. 84) 80% YES!So go for those pedicures ladies.  

"Guys Rate 50 Sex Moves" (p. 110) Figure it out already! Geez.

"Are You Texting Him to Death"  (p. 118) Answer is yes! Just text him to mainly to send across a quick message. Anything else is an overkill! A quick sorry if you f-ed up. "I'm sorry, let's talk tonight." If you guys are at work, text for tonight's plans. Or after spending three nights together and all of a sudden you're apart. Text to show you're thinking of him.

I love the stories Cosmo writes.Whether it would be about surviving a rape, some type of attack or this months

"Being forced into being a sex slave" (p. 161). It is definitely sad stuff, but interesting. At least I feel like I'm expanding my mind a little bit from reading it. I always turn here first when the magazine arrives.  

  
 "Invasion of the Redheads" (p 166) I did dye my hair red for the 4th of July. I didn't get the idea from this magazine. I thought of it all by myself. I liked my red hair. My mother wanted to disown me from the family. Mostly postive feedback. A few negatives. According to Cosmo, if you want people to notice you, go red. According to Disbeliever, if you want redheads to notice you go red. Redheads are not my thing unless your name is Garret. Haha. Shoutout to Garret. I think he is the only attractive red-headed guy I've ever. Conan O'Brien has a hot factor as well. I think it is just because he is so freaken funny. Men are attracted to people who stand out. If you believe redheads are unique, sexy, and fearless the odds are you will become more of a hot-blooded man magnet. I enjoyed the change while the 28 washes lasted.

That pretty much sums up this months. As you can tell I wasn't into the magazine at all. Maybe I'm outgrowing it! Ahhh should I now read "Time"?

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

100th Post!

"You're tooooo picky." I heard these words today! I thought about this and concluded ~Nope. I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect here!
I'm looking for Mr. Perfect for me (as cheesey as that sounds). That is it!
I know exactly what I want. I place high expectations on potential dates.

I consider dating a learning experience. It is fun meeting new potentials with the possibility of it developing into more.

Dating can also be the ultimate mind fuck.
I'm not here to play games with you, or be the mother you've never had.
I found that to be the trend with past boyfriends. Nothing is more unsexy then mothering a man. You should do this or do that.
Figure it out on your own, Mr. Pathetic.
You can't be with someone else when you don't have your shit straight!

What am I hoping for in the next guy?
The next guy I date seriously I hope is "the one." Yes that is a lot of pressure, but I'm not playing games anymore. I know what I'm looking for and what I want in a man. Now you guys all have some catching up to do!

If you guys are all like holy $hit I better keep my distance from her..well most females think this way from 25 on.
Why get into a relationship with someone if you can't see yourself marrying that person?

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Can you unhook my bra? My back hurts....

“I’m going to have to unhook this,” my chiropractor said, sitting behind me with my back exposed in one of those medical tops that barely covers anything.

     By all means! I can’t do it….my back hurts.

     In all my times that I've been to chiropractors, I never had to take my shirt off. I wore one of those unsexy pieces of fabric that tie in the back. I left my bra on because I did not think it would interfere with what he had to do. He said, in the most awkward way, “I’ll leave the room while you change and leave the door open a little bit so I know you’re ready to proceed.”

     I really was cracking up when he left. “Proceed”!

     Unfortunately, I am now going to this chiropractor because the fees for the previous chiropractor that I mentioned in my last blog were much higher than the one I go to now. I did a search on Google for chiropractors in my town and he was the third one on the list. I read that he also has a physical therapist on staff. I emailed this chiropractor about my case. He happens to be a runner as well. Score! Good thing I clicked the “I’m feeling lucky” box on Google. J

I went for my free consultation the next day. I told him that I emailed him the day before. He figured it was me because he read my chart. I knew my insurance would not cover this, but he hooked me up! It pays to run. J I got major discounts for both chiropractic care and physical therapy! I’m his favorite. ;) I love having a doctor that runs. They understand...or they're just biased.

I could not keep a straight face from the second I met him! It’s bad! I felt sexual tension right from the start. I feel tension with every doctor that I go to (only the young ones). I don’t know what it is! Our personalities clash though. I am vibrant and he is dull, of course. He is not bad looking. I couldn’t look at him because I would blush. I hate that!

To break the ice, we talked about running. He asked me what my greatest distance was, which is a half marathon (13.1 miles). We just so happened to run the same half marathon this past May. I beat him by 25 minutes! He was so impressed. Haha he got beat by a girl! That sure deflated his ego.

       I am going to sign up for a free bootcamp week that his practice offers. One of its instructors wrote me in an email: "Rumor has it you took Dr. M. in a race. Love it!" He will never hear the end of this! What now, Doc!? I wasn’t even adjusted! I can’t believe he told this instructor about me! In fact, he even told a local running club about my case, being a runner and a virgin to chiropractic. He gave a 15-minute speech after my appointment. He is all about me running. I told him I am running the NYC Marathon next year. I said I’ll give him credit, but he will only take one percent. I should ask him to join my team. That would be so awkward!

Dr. M. attends the advanced bootcamp classes atat 5:45 a.m. That is too early! The instructor told me to attend that one because it's my level. FML. I wonder how this will pan out, seeing him at the bootcamp. Technically he is not at work, and I am not being treated. I’m still his patient though. This reminds me of a counseling case in my ethics class. Should the counselor/doctor initiate small talk or would that make the client/patient feel uncomfortable, considering he or she will see this person for an appointment? He will see me all sweaty. Ahhhhhhh this is weird! I am curious to see the dynamics though. For the good of the blog!

While he was (literally) on my back, he said, "I'm not on your shirt." I had no idea what he meant, so I didn't say anything. Then I think he realized that sounded bad, so he clarified, saying he doesn't see his name as a sponsor on the back of my shirt.

He said his patients waiting outside don’t like me. I asked why.

“I don’t know why. Do you know people who don’t like you?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Why don’t they like you? Because you’re faster than them?”

Is this conversation really happening?

Then he said something in French, as if I understood! Is he trying to impress me? To top it off, he said he used to date a Croatian woman! He is bringing up his personal life!

“Us chiropractors are crazy. Just like people who run marathons.”

What an insult!

I saw this chiropractor three days in a row. I'm spending more time with him than I would with a boyfriend! All days have been awkward. When I was done on day two, he helped me up from the lay-down chair and hugged me! “Welcome to the chiropractic family,” he said. I almost burst out laughing! He says some weird stuff!

The last two days he showed more of a personality— laidback and inappropriate! He wore a shirt and jeans. What he was saying shocked me! I met with him for an hour on my second day. He was lecturing about the spine and a bunch of way-out-there jibberish, which I did not understand. He must be an alien. Actually, he does look like one.

There is a picture of him holding a black baby girl (he is Canadian) on the reception desk. No woman in the picture. I don’t know if he adopted her or something. I do not want to get involved with a guy with child or who was divorced…or is married! I don’t want that baggage!

We went over my results and I have two problems that need adjustment, in addition to a tight IT-Band which will be taken care of with physical therapy (done by a female…bummer) and Active Release Technique (ART). He performs ART on me each time I see him. It’s a godsend! I have a love/hate relationship with ART though. It hurts like a mofo, but it works! I also find it sexy in a way.

“Ow…..oww.....ow…owwwwwwww!” I shouted in pain. I’m very vocal. ;)

“You can curse,” he said.

“I don’t curse.”

“How come?”

“It’s just a choice. There are other words I can use. I don’t get angry much anyway.”

“I’m impressed.”

Wow! It turns me on when he does ART to me. My leg is in the air and he is pressing down with his thumb with full force. “This is what is going to make me retire early (meaning his sore thumb),” he said. I try to dissociate myself from this experience because it gets really painful. It helps to think that a hot guy is on top of me doing that. Hot! I hope I don’t make any of “those” faces.

He is closed on Fridays, but he really wanted to see me the next day to see how I reacted to treatment overnight. He taught a Pilates class earlier that day, so he was in his office anyway. I was his only patient. He opened the doors just for me. There was a woman from the Vitamin Shoppe there, too. Apparently, she is going to make him “famous” at her store. He told her that I am going to take first place in the marathon. I like the compliments, but I wonder what that woman was thinking about what is going on! 

He is saying some inappropriate things to me now. I know he can pretty much do or say whatever he wants, but I think he is crossing the line! For instance, in counseling it is unethical to touch a patient (handshake is OK only if they initiate it). I know that his job is very touchy feely, but that is allowed only during treatment. I extended my hand to him before leaving. He hugged me instead! “Thanks for trusting in me,” he said.

I will post a weekly update to track his progress. Who wants to bet that he will ask me out in three months (the extent of treatment)?

Keepin’ it real,

  Realist