I loathe this behavior for so many reasons:
- I'm not stupid. Don't treat me like I am.
- I am your friend. I want to understand your life. TELL me. Don't dismiss me.
- Did it ever occur to you that the very things you complain about might be the very things I want most in life, and you whining about it might be very hurtful to me?
- I realize that folks want to talk to people who can relate to them, but this comes off as a very cocky "I'm better than you" attitude. Could we just be adults? You have problems, I have problems. You don't understand my problems, either, if we're being honest. But you don't see me creating single-people forums solely devoted to complain about our lifestyle and laugh at those married people who don't understand. Unless that's what this blog is for.... (HA!)
You Might Be a Single 30-Something Girl If......
- Someone has assumed you must be either a 1) Bitch, 2) Workaholic, 3) Desperate psycho, 4) Raging partier, or 5) Bitter spinster. Every week.
- You've had a dinner consisting of wine and crackers. And you don't see anything wrong with that.
- You can't go to a family gathering without someone asking you when you are getting married, regardless of whether you are seeing anyone currently or not. They are disappointed in you, as if you failed at the only purpose in life, ignoring any of your other accomplishments.
- People ask you frequently why you're still single. Then they tell you their theory. Which usually involves telling you (unsolicited) what's wrong with you.
- You support yourself and all your living expenses with only your own income, get no tax deductions for dependents, and bought everything to furnish your home--none of it was a wedding gift. You may never be able to afford to buy a house, but you're kind of proud of your independence.
- You have very few friends left because everyone you know got married and disappeared.
- You do everything yourself--all the housecleaning, laundry, pay bills, making all life decisions, calling the cable company, and after all of it is done, there is no one to say thank you, no one to console you after a hard day. So you learned to be an adult and handle it on your own.
- You get pity from people when they find out you're single, as if it's a disease.
- You've ever rolled your eyes when someone gushes about how great her boyfriend/husband is and how she couldn't live without him.
- You get annoyed by the things married people say, like "you wouldn't understand," "your life must be so great--I miss being single," "don't worry, you'll find someone," etc.
Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic
This: "You support yourself and all your living expenses with only your own income, get no tax deductions for dependents, and bought everything to furnish your home--none of it was a wedding gift. You may never be able to afford to buy a house, but you're kind of proud of your independence." So true! And the one about rolling eyes when people gush about their boyfriends... I actually yelled at my best friend one day because I was going through a *really* lonely time and she wouldn't listen. She only talked about the great things she and her bf were doing. So I finally was like "Listen chica, I'm happy for you, but I need you to listen to me for a while." Finally snapped some sense into her!!
ReplyDeleteOh no :( Best friends aren't always as supportive as they ought to be. I know we all have a tendency to make things about us, but there's nothing worse than rubbing your good fortune in someone else's face.
DeleteI love this one too: You do everything yourself--all the housecleaning, laundry, pay bills, making all life decisions, calling the cable company, and after all of it is done, there is no one to say thank you, no one to console you after a hard day. So you learned to be an adult and handle it on your own.
ReplyDeleteI have so many coupled up friends and colleagues who really have never had to fend for themselves! No one gives me a party or accolade for it, instead I get pity. I'm proud of what I've accomplished on my own!
Yeah, I don't think we single girls give ourselves enough credit for things like this. If something breaks in my apartment, I fix it. If my neighbors are being dicks, I confront them. If my cable goes out, I call the cable company and sit on hold for an hour and then go through all the trouble-shooting with them. I cook all my own meals, I do all the cleaning, I maintain my own car. When I have a shitty day, I deal with it--no one is there to rub my shoulders or listen to me whine. I do it all myself! We all deserve a pat on the back for doing the job that it takes couples two people to do.
DeleteSo true!
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