It doesn't matter. And that makes all the difference.

A good friend gave me a bit of advice the other day that I found incredibly true and helpful.

(Yeah, I'm talking about you, J--I know you read the blog.)

Anyway, like any girl, I was obsessing over a guy, and what I should do or say and how not to screw things up. He pointed out that if he is the right guy, there is no way to screw it up. It'll just happen. If I stumble over my words, it won't matter. If I have a big booger hanging from my nose, it won't matter. Those things are rarely dealbreakers in their own right--people usually evaluate each other on personality and how well we get along with each other (and if they don't, they aren't worth being with anyway). So it isn't worth worrying about.

I have a feeling that not all girls will feel this way, but I 100% agree with it, and it gives me a lot of reassurance. So I may worry about whether or not I should wait three days before texting the guy, or worry about scaring him if I push things too fast or if he'll lose interest if I move too slow, or how exactly I should phrase what I want to say. But in the end, those things won't make a difference if it's the right guy. The right guy might think it's funny if I stumble on my own words or if I'm too nervous to talk to him, but it probably won't be a dealbreaker. When I've gone out with guys, sure, they've said dumb things, but those weren't dealbreakers for me. If a guy had a big booger hanging from his nose, that would make me laugh a little, but it wouldn't be a dealbreaker. I went out with a guy with the last name "Butts," which made me giggle (a lot--I still giggle about it), but that wasn't a dealbreaker.

Sure, we all judge each other a bit. But I'd like to think that when push comes to shove, if someone judged me for having a nose that's too big or for being too tall, they're either making an excuse for generally not being compatible with me, or their narrow-mindedness would mean they wouldn't be good for me anyway. So I take great comfort in this--If I feel strongly about someone, I won't feel bad about doing what feels right. If I feel like calling a guy, I'm damn well going to call him. I may not know exactly what to say, but I'll stumble until words fall out and eventually get to the point. 

With that, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go see about a guy.

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic