Deeper confession

This weekend Y was actually nice.  Nice, in that he actually didn't avoid me like I was a horrible person who had done something horrible to him, but instead actually asked me how I was feeling after the race.  That was it.


I know that's all I ever really asked for--I just wished he could treat me like a teammate again.  And all weekend I was relieved, and happy that maybe finally the weirdness would go away and it wouldn't be painfully uncomfortable to be around each other.


But today... well, the pangs came back.  You know, the ones we never will admit that we get, but they do resurface from time to time when we realize that things really aren't that much better now than they were in the past, despite any efforts we've made to pick ourselves up or find happiness somewhere else.  They'll go away again soon, but for right now... damnit.


Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic