A friend of mine gave me the idea for this post. Obviously we all have different "paces" for our romantic relationships. That is especially the case with this friend and me, although I think that's what makes our friendship interesting--our different perspectives help us to see different ways to look at things, and they always make for interesting stories to share with each other. Anyway, what she brought up today is there are different layers to the relationship "pace." We may also have very different opinions about how quickly to dive into the physical aspect of dating, how quickly to move our relationship onto Facebook, and how quickly to become exclusive, or "serious," or whatever you want to call it. And so! I think this calls for a poll! Or... a couple of polls! Vote, enjoy, and tell your friends to do the same!
Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic
Interesting post about "pacing" in relationships! Friends and I disagree about labels too; some girls start referring to a guy as their boyfriend within 6 dates, whereas labels scare me.
ReplyDeleteAs for getting physical, I recently had an issue with a guy on date 2, where he clearly wanted more than I did. Miscommunication. (http://urbancourtship.blogspot.com/2011/11/techie-boy-update.html)
Yeah, it's definitely interesting. I personally don't feel the need to have "the talk" with a guy until it feels necessary, but I'll refer to him as my "boyfriend" if it is just more convenient in conversation (it comes out easier than "well, this guy I've been seeing, but I'm not really sure where it's going..."). But then, after 3 dates or so I'm either exclusive or not interested (I'm not likely to date many people at once), and I know other people feel differently about both of those points.
ReplyDeleteThe friend that I mentioned is much more free about the physical step of relationships than I am--I tend to move fairly slowly. But I don't have a problem friending them right away on Facebook (I have plenty of security settings in place to prevent him from seeing things I don't want him to, and I think it's actually a great way to help get to know each other), whereas she will only "friend" a guy after their relationship is much further along.
I'm with you that after after 2-3 dates, it's exclusive or not happening... I can't date around, even though "diversifying" is probably better.
ReplyDeleteI tend not to friend on FB for awhile because I'm a bit of a stalker and could potentially drive myself insane looking at photos and wondering who all the girls are. I'm neurotic like that.
I never friend them ever on facebook.. Remember the myspace days? I used to move my boyfriend around in top friends. When I was mad, he wouldnt even make top friends. When all was well he would be in the number 1 spot!!!
ReplyDelete