Introducing Mr. Suave

Well, to be fair, this isn't the first time I've written about Mr. Suave. I actually wrote about him back here. But this time I'm giving him a name.

Admittedly, not much has happened yet. But my geeky girlish daydreams are a bit aflutter. My team moved offices this week, so I knew I wouldn't really have any chance to see him again. I was reluctant to reach out to him for a little while, since I had only spoken to him twice and tracking him down might appear to be a teensy bit stalker-ish. But while speaking to a friend about it, I was reminded of a line from "Risky Business": 

"Sometimes you gotta say "What the Fuck", make your move. Joel. Every now and then saying "What the Fuck" brings freedom. Freedom brings opportunity, opportunity makes your future."

So I said, "what the fuck." And I sent him an invitation to connect on LinkedIn (a professional networking platform, if you're not familiar). He accepted immediately, as in, within a minute. And I saw that he did view my profile (rather than just accepting from the email). So, later on in the day, I said "what the fuck" again and I sent him a note asking how the new job was going, letting him know that I moved offices, etc. He wrote back a quick reply this evening.

I know, I know, this is all kind of nothing so far. But let me just emphasize this: he is a guy who I believe who could have any girl he wants. He is very good-looking, smart, polite and kind, dresses well, smells nice, is quite a bit younger than I am :-0 .... what earthly business would he have talking to a girl like me? I am incredibly nervous just sending him an email. I practically had to ask permission of at least half a dozen friends before I even sent him a LinkedIn invitation.

I think girls do this all the time. We self-select ourselves in the dating pool according to who we think we deserve, and it probably has a lot to do with our self-esteem. I've usually had reasonable self-esteem, I suppose. I criticize myself as much as the next person and have a healthy dose of humility, but I generally believe I'm a good person, and I don't really have a history of dating jerks because I think I deserve better. But I can't say I've ever been the kind of girl who would talk to ANY guy I want. I, too, self-select myself. And honestly, I tend to be too shy to even talk to the guys who I think might be good for me. (Hmm, I'm starting to see why I never get anywhere with guys....) Anyway, so talking to a guy who literally makes me flush and think thoughts of "I'm not worthy" is a big deal for me. Am I worthy? Well, sure--he's only human, and he has plenty of faults (somewhere....). I may not completely feel worthy yet, but I'm faking it. So even if it doesn't go well, I already feel stronger. :) 

Although to be honest, I think I would like him more if I knew some of those faults of his. Perfection is highly overrated.

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic