The "Ancient" Hit-On

Guys ask me a lot of questions. Most of them are the general get-to-know-you questions and a majority of them are sexual questions. One question that I have never been asked —and hoped to have never been asked in another 20 years— is “Is she your daughter?” Apparently, I spoke too soon.

     The Disbeliever and I were at work browsing at the Devils store waiting for our manager when a man asked me if the Disbeliever is my daughter. And he had a cane.

     He was not a young, disabled man. He had white hair, bald patches on his head, and was wrinkled. He looked a bit aged. Very aged. Like 75 years old.

It gets worse.

This old man needs new eyes. He thought I was 22 years old. So I’m 22 years old with a 20-something-year-old daughter. I wonder how that happened. Old age I guess.

I brushed that off and let him humor me with jokes. We had time to spare so we went in “his office,” which really was just two stools and a table that was on sale for $700. I don’t think we were helping it get sold either.

He starts telling us funny, crude jokes. He had a good radio voice, but there was a touch of rasp to it that sounded quite creepy. He liked my laugh. He raved about my straight, white teeth. Nothing unusual. I guess he's a teeth lover as well. 

“What’s your phone number?” the old man asked.

“Is this really happening?” shouted the Disbeliever.

      Is our blog called “Did this REALLY Happen?!”

      He dropped his cane.

Yeah, it is.

I did not know what to say. I felt bad for the old man. I didn’t want to laugh, but he liked my laugh. I didn’t want to be mean because I can’t be mean to old people. 

“I can be your grandpa, sugar daddy, or grand-daddy. What do you say?”

“Uh…why? What?”

“Why not? We’ll have a good time! I’ll take you to a hockey game.”

“I work at the hockey games anyway.”

“We’ll do something else then. Give me your number!”

“No! For what? What are you going to do with it?”

One of my coworkers rescued me and I walked out.

I ran out of there as if I were racing.

That was not the last of him. I was working at the escalator that he walked out from. I faced the other way so he wouldn’t see me. Thinking he was gone, he left my coworker and walked —or wobbled— over to me!

“There’s my girl!”

“Oh no,” shaking my head in disbelief.

“You know, I’m a vampire. Love at first bite.”

I shriek.

This old man is not the typical old guy who sits around and is in a wheelchair. Rather, he is obnoxious, freaky, has a sense of humor, and still has the sex drive! I doubt that he’d be able to keep up with me though. But who knows! I do not want to find out.

I cannot believe that he actually thought that he would have a chance with me! What was he thinking? Did he really think that I would give him my phone number? He has a maximum of 15 years left on earth! He probably needed a self-esteem boost to show that he’s still got it. I am fed up with guys doing that to me! It really brings me down because that’s all it ever amounts to— a self-esteem boost. Guys just want me for one thing. I’m that quick dose of pleasure.

This geezer asking for my number really did me in. I don’t care anymore. There is no point to talk to guys at a bar or wherever because they will either act dull; want to hookup; not ask for my number; ask for my number and never call; ask for my number and text; ask for my number and send a picture of their penis; or ask for my number and just want to hang and bang. When all I want is an innocent conversation.

Is this what my young dating life has come to? 70-year-olds? How depressing! :( The Disbeliever asked me why I always attract the weirdoes. I must give off the come-talk-to-me-vibe. I probably have a very welcoming aura around me. 

Getting made fun of for always getting old men is getting old!

Keepin’ it real,

    Realist

There is no sense in dating Hornballs

I am beginning to think that there is no such thing as common sense anymore, especially when it comes to dating or wanting to make a good impression. I gathered my frazzled thoughts after the texting conversation with Hornball (see previous post) and tried to make sense of what he said. Since I could not find any sense, I came up with a list of "do nots". These should be common sense, but from my experience, it appears that they really aren't! 

 

1.  Do not text. No explanation needed.

2.  Do not add girls on Facebook every day and comment on their pictures about how good they look. Fine, gives credit where credit is due (not that we need the self-esteem boost anyway). Don’t expect women to fall for sweet talk when it’s obvious that the guy is saying the same thing to every girl!

3.  Do not mention anything related to dating or relationships over text, especially if both have never met! Do not say “maybe we will end up dating” or “we should be more than friends.” This is a double-edged sword though. If a girl were to bring that up, the guy would win first place in a race to run out of the situation. Nevertheless, it makes me want to run away.

4.  Do not talk about anything sexual before meeting or on the first date! It is piggish, a red flag, and disrespectful. This just sets the stage for a relationship based on sex! It’s just too messy!

5.  Do not send a penis picture before meeting a girl. Actually, never send it! Showing it off does not make women want to come over right away. It just makes us forward the picture to all our friends and laugh. Plus, it spoils the mystery of opening the package.

6.  Do not sext. Although, it was fun and hilarious!

7.  Do not make plans over text. Be serious.

8.  Do not mention dating, wanting to be in a relationship, dating around, or becoming friends with benefits if the only thing you know about the girl is her name!

9.  Do not talk about fetishes. Save the freakiness for the bedroom!

10. Do not be a hornball!

 

There is no sense in pursuing Hornballs. Makes sense, right?

Keepin’ it real,

  Realist

Is this guy for real?

A great quality to possess is persistence. All guys have this quality. I can ignore them for months, give off the uninterested vibe, and say “no” a million times, but they do not give up!

I wrote about this guy, Hornball, who added me on Facebook from one of my friends because he liked my legs (see The Hornballs of Facebook). He kept pestering me to hang out, but what he really wanted to do is bang. I would tell him that I had work, which was true, or I would never let him know when I would be free. Just when I thought that he’s given up, he texted me last Sunday while I was at work with the Disbeliever. It was actually good timing because we were sooo bored at work, so we welcomed the entertainment. It made time go by.

***Commercial break***

Before I discuss my conversation with Hornball, I have an update on my blind date that never happened (see Is there a "Spank Me" sign on my butt?). I ran into Joe again while I was at work this same day. They always come full circle! I said, “Well well well!” He kept walking. I hit him on the back (payback for slapping my butt) and he wanted to know what I was doing. He had a really cute guy with him. I suspect that this guy was Gary, his friend Steve’s brother who was supposed to call me to set up a blind date. Joe said that he never got the phone call from my job (he entered a contest). I said, “I did not get a phone call either!” as I looked at his friend. I think Joe told his friend that I was his blind date because he pointed at me. When I was on the phone with Gary a few weeks ago with his brother Steve next to me, we agreed that if I do not hear from him within three days, then I would assume that Steve was too drunk and forgot to give him my phone number. Three days passed without a phone call. I could have called Gary myself, but Steve said that he sent my phone number to him. It’s a shame that he did not call. He was hot! He’s missing out.

Now that we are back from a commercial break, here is the conversation (edited for proper grammar).

10:16 a.m. Hornball: Hey.

Me: ?

Hornball: You deleted my number? It’s Hornball.

Me: No I was just too lazy to type what do you want?

Hornball: What’s with the attitude? (He read it wrong. This is why you call the person!)

Hornball: What do you want sounds a bit bitchy don’t you think?

Me: No you read it wrong.

Hornball: I just wanted to make plans. (I guess I don’t have a choice or a say in whether or not I want to make plans with him!)

Me: Why don’t you make plans with the 500 other girls that you add?

Hornball: What? I barely add girls. Go on my profile and you’ll barely see new friends. (He has new friends every day and they are all hos!)

Me: Yeah I saw you commenting on all those pictures, just like what you said to me.

Hornball: And you said you only wanted to be friends.

10:51 Hornball: I don’t comment on that many girls. I give credit where credit is due. You’re acting like we’ve been seeing each other and I’m trying to play you. I do want to meet you.

I bet with the Disbeliever that he will respond at noon.

11:58 Hornball: So you’re seriously not even going to give it a shot for us to meet?

I called it! They always respond when the other person doesn’t! I guess they like the chase.

Me: Fine well I am at work now.

Hornball: Until what time?

Me: 1:45

Hornball: You want to do movies later?

Me: I will only go to FRIENDLY’S with you.

Hornball: What do you mean only to Friendly’s?

Me: Because I only go to Friendly’s with friends.

Hornball: Lol you’re too funny. Friends go to movies, too.

Hornball: Maybe we’ll end up as more than friends. (He doesn’t even know me and he is mentioning this! That's a no-no! But if a girl said this to a guy, he’d run away and win a marathon!)

Me: This is why I am being resistant. I don’t want a relationship or be friends with benefits!

Hornball: I don’t mean it like that. Maybe we’ll end up dating. You never know.

Me: It’s the same thing as being in a relationship.

Hornball: No I mean like boyfriend/girlfriend.

Me: That’s the same as dating.

Hornball: Yeah it could be called dating as well if you’re not dating anyone else.

Me: What’s that called then if you’re dating other people like me?

Hornball: Dating around. So if you’re dating different guys, why not me?

Me: It looks like you have your hands full, too.

12:55 Hornball: No I don’t, hun. We should be more than friends.

Oh my goodness he just asked me to be his girlfriend via text. How sad. I stopped texting. He will come back.

1:19 Hornball: So are you a kinky girl at all?

Where did that come from? He totally changed the topic.

Me: Nah. (Yeah, right. There’s a reason they call me Freak on a Leash.)

1:20 Hornball: No way. Every girl’s kinky deep down.

I don’t respond. I know he will come back.

1:48 Hornball: (sends me a picture of his naked self, with the picture ending just before the ween. His nipples are pierced.) You sure you don’t want to see more? (Hmmm...yup!)

Me: Ew your nipples are pierced.

Hornball: No they’re not pierced anymore. I took them off five months ago.

Me: You send that outdated picture to all your girls then.

Hornball: No I don’t. I need to take a new one that shows the top part of my dick.

Me: Oh yeah I want all of your manhood.

2:06 Hornball: (He sends me a picture of his huge, hard ween.)

Once a guy sends you a picture of his ween and you haven’t met yet, there is no point in hanging out! It’s ruined because you saw everything, so there is no surprise. Plus, if you hang out, the whole basis of the meeting is about sex! Whatever happened to all that wanting-to-be-friends talk?

Me: Your manhood is too big for my vag.

Hornball: You’re so negative. Of course it’ll fit. It looks bigger in pics. I’ve had sex with girls that were really tight.

Me: How big is your ween?

2:15 Hornball: 8’’

I don’t respond. There is no point in talking anymore.

Hornball: You know you want it. I want to be inside you.

Hi, Hornball, it’s nice to meet you, too.

Hornball: I want your gorgeous legs sitting on top of my broad shoulders.

Me: They are now. What are you going to do to me? (I'm trying to get him to sext.)

Hornball: No they’re not. L

Me: Just play along.

Hornball: I want to kiss your inner thighs while I rub your clit and finger you.

Whoa there! Now we’re talking! Let the sexting begin!

Me: Ohh Hornball, that feels so good!

Hornball: I go in and out of you slow at first and then faster and harder little by little. My balls slapping against your ass cheeks.

Me: I love getting my butt spanked. In fact, let me get out my whip.

Hornball: I lick your nipples and kiss your neck while I’m on top of you.

Hornball: You seem like the dominant type that likes to tease. I want you to ride me and I spank your booty while you moan. (This is freaky. He knows me too well, yet he really doesn’t.) I want to lick your toes, too. (Oh no, a foot fetish.)

Hornball: I want to tongue fuck your ass. (Ew! Freak!)

Me: I am dripping chocolate all over your body and I am licking it all off.

Hornball: Mmm. You have any fetishes?

Me: I like teeth. I run my tongue across your teeth as we kiss.

Hornball: Mmm that’s hot. I like girls with nice feet.

He killed the sexting mood. It was fun while it lasted. I don’t respond.

Hornball: So when are we going to make this happen for real?

Me: I feel like it already happened.

Hornball: Stop it we haven’t even met. I’ll make your eyes roll back and your toes curl from so much pleasure.

Me: I already saw your ween. The fun is ruined.

3:17 Hornball: You have to see the whole package in person. Looking and touching are very different.

3:35 Hornball: So you don’t want to chill?

Does he really expect me to want to chill with him after all of this? Was this a ploy for me to hang out with him? Seeing a penis does not make me want to chill. It makes me want to run. In fact…

Me: I’m going to go run and then go to the gym.

So long...

3:38 Hornball: OK but let’s chill this week.

...farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good-bye!

I was not expecting our conversation to turn out this way. But I am glad it did because it was my first sexting experience and it was so funny. The Disbeliever and I had a good time with this! There really is no point in meeting Hornball now. He gave a first impression of being a hornball. I do not want to get tied up in that, no matter how kinky I am.

Keepin’ it real,

  Realist

Plenty of Fish~ Types of men on the site and learn from my mistakes!

Yes, I joined Plenty of Fish (POF), an online dating site, for the second time. The first time I was unsuccessful at the site because I got annoyed by male desperation. I was a member of POF for three days. Now, I'm back and still getting annoyed by these desperate males.

What type of "men" are on these dating sites?

I compiled a list of the types of men found on these sites.

1.) The Afraid Nerd~ The guy who has no idea how to talk to females.
Instead, they type massive paragraphs to cover up their lack of a social skills. If we met in person, he would studder his way though conversation. We also would have absolutely nothing to talk about.

2.) The Sex Freaks~ The hornballs out there looking for a quick bang from the jump off of the moment. They will also settle for the exchange of dirty messages while sending pictures of their penis.

3.) The Let's-Meet-Up-Nows~ Come on let's meet up now! It can be 2 a.m. with the bar closing at 2:30 and they still want to meet up! (Also see sex freak.)

4.) Mr. Personality~ Where is your personality?

5.) The Let-Me-Know-You-Before-Meeting-You~ Facebook friends, Instant Messager friends, texting.... These guys want it all...all except for actually calling. They do not have enough balls to make the phone call.



Now ladies, here is some advice if you still want to try online dating (if I didn't sway you away from it yet.) Please learn from my mistakes!

1.) Do NOT give out your phone number until the first meeting!!!
Otherwise, you might have a psycho Italian calling you. Expect the nasty message "why didn't you answer your phone?" Then he will text, "Just erase me because I know you ignored me!" He will then call again. Followed by another text! I said to myself WOW... BIG mistake giving out my number.
My phone number is golden, so if you have my digits consider yourself a lucky person!

2.) Do NOT become Facebook friends with these guys. A) You will know their whole life history without ever meeting the guy. What is the point?
B) Do you really want some onliner knowing your first and last name?



I think the best possible way to go about online dating would be first to message back and forth for awhile. Make sure this doesn't last for too long because you are not looking for a pen pal! The next step is to exhange screen name information or BBM if you have it. Then I highly suggest a phone convo before meeting. You get his number! Dial *67 and proceed with the phone number and calling him. This way, if you are like "no way" he doesn't have your information. You will be a free woman who could move on with her life without the harrassment.

As for me with this "online dating," my days are numbered on POF. Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now better hurry up because I don't think I will be on the site much longer. It is just another outlet for meeting people, so you never know. I hope to meet someone in person.  I want to judge his ass face-to-face  because I'm old fashioned like that!

<3 Disbeliver disbelieving 24/7

"I'm so happy to finally find you"

What would we do without search engines or Facebook to find people? I do not even know how we used to “find” each other. The old fashioned way was probably through the phone book. Or maybe people just waited 10 years for their high school reunion to reunite. The Disbeliever and I reunited in high school after over 10 years since we met in pre-school. I saw my friend (who is also her friend) saying bye to each other. We did not have the Internet to link us up! The Internet is a quite the cheating strategy to stalk people. I can’t imagine any other simpler and quicker way other than typing a person’s name in Google and finding all their contact information and probably their social security number.

But searching for someone on the Internet is not so easy for everyone. I know someone who wanted to get in touch with a girl from high school for months. Here’s how the hunt happened.

Some girl would run every day on two particular main roads. Strategy: look at the high school yearbook to get her name. Then search for her in Facebook. Nothing. Search for her in Google and all that shows up are race results, not her Facebook account. Another fail. Approaching her during her run was out of the question. Too shy. She probably would not stop to chat anyway. That’s too creepy. After months of searching online on Google, the runner posted on the New York Road Runner’s (NYRR) wall, which is a public page. Her comment showed up on Google and the persistent stalker commented on her wall post on NYRR, saying, “I’m so happy to finally find you. I would love to get in contact with you. We graduated together from CHS. Please contact me.”

I contacted her. She is lesbian.

Yes, this did just happen to me. At first, I was touched that Bev said that I inspired her to run because she always sees me running past her house. Now Bev lost a lot of weight (she was 200 pounds) and quit smoking and cut back on drinking. She thanked me. I felt like the running Oprah. I was touched that I had that effect on her and I was very impressed with her persistent searching, even though I find it stalkerish. Bev registered for a half marathon in April, which is not wise because she just started running. She asked me to help her train. I can’t say no to a runner, so I agreed. After numerous emails I decided to just add her on Facebook because it would be easier to talk. We started chatting about running…and what she said actually made me want to run away.

Bev: are you married?

Me: nooooooooo

Bev: hahahaha nooooooooooooooo

Me: I love being single

Bev: I’ve been single for a very long time

Bev: I’m gay but it’s hard for me to find someone

Me: yeah I can’t find a guy either (Notice that I mentioned that I dig males right away!)

Bev: I can help you out

Bev: what’s your type?

Me: I don’t really have a type

Me: actually I prefer athletic, college grad, not shady, accent, adventurous, fun, and be an import

Bev: import?

Me: foreigner

Bev: lol I’ll see what I can do

Me: ok just send em over. I’m not in a rush though

Bev: you got it. Damn I don’t even remember when my last date was

(Awkward!)

Bev: how long was your last relationship?

Me: 11 months. It’s the longest I’ve ever had.

Me: Every guy that I’ve dated ran away at 11 months. I call it the 11-month syndrome.

Me: They get afraid because they think I want to get married after one year of dating.

Bev: I like to have toy friends

Me: ?

Bev: I like to play for a little bit

Bev: Toyfriend is a song from David Guetta

Bev: it’s a good running song

Me: ehhh I like to run to Enrique and Lifehouse

Bev: lol

Bev: I’ve dated a guy once. Don’t ask me how that happened lol

Bev: things were fine until one day when he was on top of me

Bev: and one thing about me… don’t try to control me

Bev: cuz my man side comes out lol!

(At this point I stopped talking because it was TMI, but then I said that I’d reply for the good of the blog.)

Bev: I’ve tried speed dating

Me: I want to do that. How was it?

Bev: it was not bad, but they’re too quick. I didn’t find the right person

(I stopped talking.)

Bev: want to meet up tomorrow for a run?

I never responded and she signed off. I felt so nasty when she told me that she was lez. I kind of figured she was lez in high school. I need a new running trail now! This means I can’t wear sports bras anymore! Ewwwwwwwwwww she saw me half naked! I am soooo disgusted! She probably took pictures of me.

I have nothing against homosexuals in general. I am just bothered when they hit on me! I have the wrong sex hitting on me! I love Bev’s determination to find me, but it is too creepy! She looked in our yearbook for me and just did not give up hunting me down. I wonder who else is trying to find me! (My advice is to periodically search your name on a search engine and delete any links to your accounts if you don’t want people stalking you!) Good thing I am super private on Facebook.

I do not know if I should help a fella runner out, or act distant now because she is gay. I feel mean doing that though. If she were not gay then I’d definitely run with her. But I just don’t feel comfortable running with her knowing that she is lesbian and is probably looking at my boobs flapping.

If only she were a guy with that persistence. I can easily get a lesbo, but I can’t get a guy! Gary, the guy I wrote about in my last blog who was supposed to call me for a blind date, never called. Is this what my sex life has come to? Lesbians?

What is your advice for me? Should I follow through and run with her? Should I tell her how uncomfortable I’d feel? Or should I just run with the fact that she digs me?

Keepin’ it real,

    Realist

Is there a “Spank Me” sign on my butt?

My butt is numb. I did not get a shot in the butt. I did not fall on my tailbone from slipping on ice. Or play in the snow. And I did not have anal sex (never again).

I have been spanked. Many times…from many hands— boyfriends, friends (male and female), the C (you got your own category; congrats for making the blog), acquaintances, coworkers, parents (once with a wooden spoon when I was little…I remember it to this day), customers, and even strangers… at work, school, the gym, at the bar, walking up the stairs, and while dancing, hooking up, having sex, grinding, playing tennis, running…basically anywhere where someone can get their hands on my romp for a quick smack. I like it.

Until it became overplayed like a hit song on a radio.

I’m tired of this abuse. I’m getting bored of it, the sensation is dwindling, and it’s not as fun as it used to be. (Sorry, the C. I know you must be so disappointed right now.) I used to love the spontaneity of getting my butt smacked. It was so hot and kinky. I loved the feeling. But this butt-smacking gesture has been happening so much recently that it is overload. It irks me that strangers can’t keep their hands to themselves, especially in public while I'm at work or at the gym! What makes them think they can do that to me when they don’t even know me? Is there a “Spank Me” sign on my butt?

I feel so dirty because of these guys and it really turns me off. I need to wear a metal shield in my underwear so it would break their hands. I know most guys are “butt people,” but it baffles me that they have the nerve to place their hand on my rear. I used to like one of my friends at school and we’d always see each other at the gym. I expected getting smacked with a towel from him. I loved it. This went on for over one year. To my surprise, he actually had a girlfriend of six years! His friend told me this on the fly. He couldn't say it to my face! I felt so bad for the girl and completely disgusted at him. All this time he was hiding a girlfriend from me and hiding me from her. I hate being the secret. If only she knew. I can see why his horny self was flirting with me. They rarely saw each other and he needed a sexual outlet. He dormed and she worked in the NYC. How can he not feel guilty? Doesn’t he have a conscience? This really leads me to suspect that faithfulness is a rarity in males.

Another example was in my last blog, “The Hot Mess Scores a Blind Date,” in which I wrote about two guys whom I met at work named Steve and James. They are new to fatherhood and acted very inappropriate toward me and were unfaithful to their significant others. Sound familiar? James, who is having problems with his Baby Mama, wanted to meet up with me during the hockey game to chat. I was turned the opposite way of him, so obviously I did not see him behind me. He sure made it known by smacking my butt! My palm was open and ready to return the favor on his cheek (not the butt cheeks), but I did not need security escorting me out of work. I screamed out of shock and I told him that he is very inappropriate.

James said that I was looking the other way and he spanked me so that so I’d turn around. Since when does smacking a girl’s butt mean to “turn around”? I even told his friend Steve and he apologized for him. I told James that I don’t even know him and that he had no right doing that to me. I don't want to be treated like some secret lush! That is so disrespectful to me and to his girl or, as he calls her, "my-I-don't-know-what-to-call-her-girl" who gave birth to his twins, which were a mistake. Use protection and don't use me as a sexual escape! He said, “You’re a Jersey girl, baby. What happens in Jersey, goes.” He can go fist-pump his way to hell and get spanked with pitchforks because this Jersey girl does not put up with that!

And all the other butt smackers can join him.

Keepin’ it real,
   Realist

The Hot Mess Scores a Blind Date

I felt like such a hot mess at work because I was sick. I was not going to go, but I’d rather make money and be sick rather than not make money and melt in my sickness. My eyes felt puffy from being watery and I really felt like crap. I thought I looked like crap, too. But I guess guys like a hot mess. J

I was walking around the concourse at the hockey game aimlessly. I was having a really bad day at work and I just wanted to go home. I bet people were thinking that I was crying or that I just got dumped because my eyes were puffy, or at least they felt like they were. Thank goodness for makeup! Two guys named Steve and James approached me, asking what I was giving away. I explained it to them and they immediately wanted to sign up, but they just really wanted to exchange phone numbers. My job entails me to get people’s phone numbers and 99 percent of the time it ends up with a guy saying, “Can I have yours first?” It’s getting really old, guys.

These guys were cute and had great personalities. They went to this game because Steve’s brother, Gary, bought him two tickets for his birthday. Their first questions were if I wanted a baby. Both of them are new fathers. James just had two twin girls seven weeks ago. He is single and is having problems with his Baby Mama. Steve also had a baby girl, but it was not a mistake. He is married, but was flirting with me and even said, "Where were you before I got married?" Unbelievable! This just makes me not want to get married! I'll save this for another blog. James wanted to know if I wanted kids and I said not yet. Steve was trying to convince me to get with James and started showing baby pictures of the twins. I do not want to get with a guy who already has kids and has a Baby Mama in the background. That is too much baggage! I want to reproduce my own kids on my own time!

Then we got back to talking about my giveaway. Steve wanted to sign up his brother Gary as well. He wanted me to talk to Gary on the phone to let him know that I am entering him in a contest. Steve said that I’d be good for Gary. I really didn’t want to talk on the phone, but Steve was making a great case. Steve told me that Gary is a hotter version of him, and is slimmer, built, has sandy brown hair...and has a bigger penis. Gary showed me a picture of him on his phone. It (the picture) was too small, but I liked what I saw! I also asked Steve the important questions, such as Gary's educational background, job, age, his hobbies, and residence. He passed all of them!

Gary has an apartment in PA because that is where his job is, but he also comes home during the weekends, which is about a half hour away from me. I hate PA and I will definitely talk about how much of a waste of land that state is. He travels a lot for work. Gary is still younger than me (all guys seems to be) by one year. I can never get a guy my age or older. I feel like they don’t exist. Gary also surfs and snowboards, which is great because this way we can hit the slopes! His last trip was in Colorado. Surfing is on my bucket list as well. He sounds adventurous, which is an in-demand quality in a guy! I also asked Steve if Gary is a hornball. He said that Gary is a gentleman. I told Steve that Gary has to open every door for me. He also said that Gary is like an encyclopedia and is outgoing. So far, so good!

     I wish I did not ask Steve all those questions about Gary. I feel like I already know him and it spoils the fun and curiosity. I picture Gary asking me all those questions and I won’t ask him anything because I already know the answers. Unless I just ask him questions as if I did not know the answers. But I don’t want the “interview.” What should I ask? I am not worried about it being awkward. I can talk about anything. If he brings up anything sexual, then that will be it for him.

On the phone, Steve told Gary the background information of what was going on. Steve said that he is with a hot chick who he thinks Gary should date. He said that my name is (first name) Fay. James and Steve think my first and last name is so hot. (I said my last name is Fay just because my real last name is hard to pronounce and basically everyone calls me Fay anyway.) I enjoyed talking to Gary on the phone, even though most of our conversation was “What?” We were both in very loud places. Gary was eating at a sushi restaurant. I apologized for interrupting him on his date, but he said that he was eating alone! I don’t remember what else we talked about because it was really choppy and quick. Gary said that he is a weekend guy because he travels during the week with vaccines. We agreed that Gary will call me within three days. If he doesn’t, then I’ll call Gary and assume that Steve’s drunk self failed to give him my phone number.

After we hung up, I asked Steve what he will tell Gary about me. “I’m going to tell him that you’re a beautiful girl.” His vision must have been very impaired from drinking because I am convinced that I looked like a hot mess and my work outfit is not flattering at all! But if he was telling the truth, then I am going to look like a bombshell in my normal attire when I am not sick!

Steve quizzed me, asking if I would hang out with him, his baby, his wife, brother, and me. I told him no. He said that I failed because he’s family-oriented. I do not want to meet the family on the first date! The first date should just be with me and Gary. I told Steve that I want a full blind date! I think it would be so much fun and mysterious! A major reason why I wanted a blind date was because it would be excellent blog material. For the good of the blog!
 

I am really excited about my blind date! I hope Gary calls me. I will report back within the next few days with updates.

Have you ever been on a blind date? What did you talk about? Would you ever go on a blind date?

Keepin’ it real,
   Realist

You're toooo Over the Top for Anyone. No One will Satisfy You

If you had a rocker you wouldn't be happy.
If you had a Guido you wouldn't be happy.
You probably had no more than four guys you've dated your entire life.

Yes, I met this guy on vacation who said these exact words to me.
I counted up the guys that last over three months in my life. 1..2..3..4..
Damn this guy is good.

I don't judge guys by appearance. I judge them by personality.
He did have a point though. He helped me to realize why I have such a hard time finding guys. I wouldn't classify myself as so "over the top." I just had on a fur hoodie vest. What is so "over-the-top" about a fur hoddie vest?

Underneath the vest was a ski bunny long-sleeved T-shirt with arm warmers to make the sleeves longer. The icing on the cake was a striped scarf.
I looked like the classic ski chick that I am.

According to this guy, I looked like a chick who just can't chill.
I always have to be doing something. What's wrong with that?
We did wind up exchanging numbers... It annoys me though because I haven't heard from him. Plus he was soooo drunk the night before. He came over the next morning for breakfast with his friend. He wound up talking to my friend the whole time. I wish guys could decide what they want because here I'm thinking we hit it off. Then he turns out just to be as typical as the next guy...Ugh~

<3 disbeliver disbelieving 24/7

TV's Cupid to N.Y men: You Stink! Patti Stanger blames 'selfish' guys for terrible dating scene

You want to know why dating is so messed up in NY? It's the guys.
That's what Patti Stanger says she hit, "The Millionaire Matchmaker," to the city season.

"Coming to NY is coming home for me," says Stanger who grew up in NJ and Manhattan. "So, I'm disappointed to see the terible dating scene."

Men in NY are selfish these days. They want to hold onto their money and they're in no rush to find a mate.

All you need to find is one guy. So what's a girl to do? Stanger offers these tips to find someone special in NY. I couldn't have said it better myself!

1. Don't Judge
On her show Patti had one woman who wouldn't date a man who lived in a different borough. Stop judging. At least until you go on the first date.

2. Break Bread
"One of the best parts of the dating scene in NY is that men understand that dinner is an absolute must!" says Stanger. "Lunch is an audition, drinks are an interview. Women love to be fed, and dinner is a necessity. Make sure that a guy you're seeing understands that."

3. Say it, Don't Type It (The Mom circled this one in the article)
"Stop responding to guys who only use text messages." She says, "Are you kidding me? You can't fall in love with a guy unless you hear their voice. If you can lock onto a man's voice, you can connect to it. You certainly don't get that from a text! Besides, you're not looking for a pen pal."

4. Get Active
"First figure out what types of guys you like, and what they enjoy doing," Stanger says. "Together with your girlfriends rotate buying tickets to a Yankees, Knicks, or Rangers games. Better yet go watch a game at a bar! Go ice skating at Bryant park. Remember you will not find a man by sitting around. That will never work!"
(I disagree with this one guys are very into the game and never would go ice skating unless they are on a date already!)

5. If At First You Don't Succeed...
"Don't give up too easily!" says Stanger. Try a venue or event more than once, and if it doesn't work, then move on to the next thing. But always give it a chance. And remember-- stay positive. A woman's smile is her calling card.

I really liked this article. I believe this is from the January 6, 2011 edition of the Daily News. That Patti needs to hook a sister up!

<3 Disbeliver disbelieving 24/7