Happy 38th Anniversary to my parents!!!

Their longest relationship 38 years. Mine 38 months!
Give or take a few months...

How do you stand someone for 38 years? WOW!!!!!!
I <3 this blog! I was thinking about "things" today based off this blog:
The Perils of Urban Courtship

In response to their Oct. 19 article, never mention exs to someone you're dating ever! Usually the guy never asks. If you are to mention former guys at all only count boyfriends. What a sleazeball to keep boasting about past girlfriends and sexual performance. Insecurity is never hot!
I hate guys that fish for compliments or feel the need to brag about anything. This rule applies to both sexes in fact.

In response to the Oct. 20 article, a guy who mentions sex on the first date should not get the Facebook friend add! What is the point? He sounds like a sleezebucket.
Sleazier than a car dealer at a dealership.

These girls' dates are always so unbelievable. Maybe they should read "Did This Really Happen?!" I think as their next excuse for getting out of a date, they should say they want a baby ASAP. Ask if they know of a good sperm bank. I would love to read about how that date goes!

Should I date more? My last date was soooo long ago. I don't even remember.
I had hang outs, but no dates :( I'd love for a guy to call (the proper way) to schedule a date. However, they do not so they are just not that into me.

Where should I look for men? Guys are everywhere!
I don't want a drunk from the bar.
Guys at the gym are way too into their workouts.
I need a fresh idea! Dating sites are out!


<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Perspective

Dating is tough these days.  The older a girl gets, the more difficult it is to wade through the pool of male candidates.  It seems like anyone who is still single after a certain age is single for a reason, and it's more difficult to find quality candidates.  This, of course, immediately draws one to wonder why she herself is still single, and what is her flaw....  but she tries not to dwell on that too much.

It's no wonder my grandmother worries sometimes that I'm not married yet.  The average age of marriage has risen greatly in the last several decades, so for someone like her who may have gotten married shortly after high school, I've already reached old-maid status at my age, and am even above the average for today's standards.

Still, I like to remember that no matter how tough things are now, I am still better off than if I had been a single girl back when my grandmother was young.  To illustrate that, I'd like to share the following link and thank my good graces that despite all the hell that dating sometimes is, I do not have to also worry about being the perfect Stepford pinup.  Enjoy.

1938 Tips for Single Ladies

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Red.Yellow.Green. Light

My idea.
There should be a 5k race around Valentine's day with this theme.
Instead of the usual running shirt you get a red, yellow, or green shirt.

Red shirts- Taken.. Girlfriend/boyfriend, Married...Etc

Yellow shirt- The its "complicate types" also known as "avoid like the plague."

Green- $-i-n-g-l-e and ready to mingle.

Ahhh this idea is fresh...
This idea is hip! I like it!

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Do Not Give the Benefit of the Doubt

My mother taught me that concept. I will not be passing that idea on to anyone!
I decided to go against this grain at 26 years old. No more "benefit of the doubts."  I repeat! Ladies DO NOT give any guy the benefit of the doubt! It is a waste of time! You only get one chance to make a first impression.
If you blow it, it is blown forever!


Put work into first date ideas!
I feel like it is gotten down to the point where I have to ask the guy "What are we doing? Where are we going? Are you sure this will actually happen? Will you show? How late are you running? Will I really be eating food? At what place will this happen? Will you come up with some type of excuse?"
I even got the excuse two years ago of, "my mother is in the hospital."
I asked about his mother and he forgot his lie! That is another story though...

So back to dates. I used to do all the planning. I have to cut back on all the planning. Especially for the first date! I even picked up guys before. B~I~G mistake! I always wind up feeling like the man. Last time I checked I did not have a penis! It is getting bad. I'll try on my next date to have the guy plan the first one.
I will give this one more shot. If it sucks again I'll go back to the planning.

I had a great time dating myself at the Olive Garden. Maybe I should go back there? Do they still have the never ending pasta bowl? Another Disbeliever rule is: never let the guy pick you up.

No way not for a first date! You take your car. I'll take mine. I need my get away vehicle!
It has really gotten that bad in the dating word.  I'm completely comfortable that you go your way at the end of the date and I will go mine.

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Single girl rant, aka Throw Me a Bone!

In what I could refer to as a "sister" blog, I saw this entry and was inspired to write an entry of my own.  I guess you could say it hit a nerve.

A lot of prejudice exists in our society today, and a lot of it has been there since the beginning of time.  We constantly debate the equal treatment for different races, genders, and sexual orientation.  But maybe it's about time someone spoke up for the single people.

Our society was built such that marriage is the ultimate goal.  Very recently this has been shifting, with a higher divorce rate inspiring more people to cohabitate and/or put off marriage.  But subtle signs are everywhere suggesting that you somehow lead a less important life if you are single.  Whenever I go anywhere, people give me pitiful looks because I am by myself.  My married friends don't talk to me anymore, partly because they're busy with their kids, but also let's face it--they don't know how to relate to me anymore.  It's like I'm a crazy alien party child who wanted to ditch "normal" things like a husband and children in favor of getting trashed every night.  My family asks me every time I see them if I'm seeing anyone, or when am I ever going to get married, yet very little celebration occurred when I completed my masters degree and got a job out of state.  In fact, the things that are traditionally celebrated in life are marriages and babies.  Why don't I get to create a gift registry for finishing grad school, or for getting an apartment by myself?  If I never get married, I will have had to pay for everything I have in my apartment with no assistance through registering for gifts of things like sheets and dishes and kitchen utensils.  This occurred to me just yesterday when I realized I still had the old, shitty knives I got out of college, assuming I would upgrade to good knives when I got married.  I guess it's time to screw that idea--I need new knives now.

And how about those finances?  If I do anything I want to do, I have to pay more (I pay for my rent and all utilities, student loans, etc. on a single salary, I don't get to split a hotel room when I travel, etc.). If I want smaller servings of food at the grocery store so that I can make a meal for myself that I won't have to eat for an entire week, I have to pay a premium.  I can never get all the good deals for meals or vacations or movies or whatever "for two" (and believe me--I have asked if the deal still applies "for one."  It doesn't.).  I have to do all the chores myself that a married couple might split--pay bills, clean the apartment, maintain the car, kill the scary-looking bugs, make annoying phone calls to the cable company that I'd love to pass off on someone else, etc.  And the salt on the wound is, married couples, even the ones with two incomes, get a tax break.  Not me.

I never wanted to be a bitchy single person.  And I'm not one of those people who says, "rah rah!  I'm single because that's what I want, and I love it!"  Truth is, I would love nothing more than to have a family of my own.  But why should I be punished for not being able to get what I want out of life?  Why do I need to be reminded that not only do I have to finacially support myself, bail out my own ass when I get into trouble, and deal with problems myself instead of having a significant other to lean on, but also get pity from those around me like I've somehow failed in life?  Because I wasn't lucky enough thus far to have met the perfect man of my dreams, why do I also have to be subtly chastised in life?  I swear I am not bitter.  It's just that those little subtle jabs pushing me into marriage over the course of thirty years start to wear on my nerves.

I am not a poor lost soul who has no direction in life.  I am not a wild party girl who just wants to get trashed every night.  I am not dependant on having someone else and incapable of being alone.  And I am not a sub-class citizen just because I haven't found love yet.  I am just a normal person who is trying to find happiness in life, just like everyone else.  I will never list my "status" on Facebook as "single" because that does not define who I am.  It would just be nice if the universe would throw a single girl a bone every now and then.

No pun intended in that last line.  I swear.

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Hi, my name is totally clueless, nice to meet you.

It had been an early morning, up at 5:30am to brave the cold and rain to volunteer at a road race.  Eventually the sun came up to reveal a nice Fall day--brisk, crisp, and bright.  I checked runners in, sipped coffee, and enjoyed the pretty (albeit bleary-eyed) race environment.  When the race eventually was underway, I positioned myself at my station at the finish line to cheer for the runners and instruct them to stay in order and move through the chute.

While standing there waiting for the first runner to arrive, I saw Mr. Mysterious standing on the side.  Who was he?  He wasn't part of our running club, and he didn't appear to be one of the cops, and definitely wasn't one of the city councilmen.  He was just a young guy wearing track pants and a jacket, watching the race.  Hellooooooo, man of mystery, you are really cute.... I kept peeking at him, and when I saw him look up my direction, my eyes would dart away.  Then I'd peek back, he'd look up, and I'd look away.  This happened a few times before I told myself I may be borderline creepy and maybe I should stop it.

Then he walked over.  RIGHT next to me.  Like, right in my personal space.  Like, if I wasn't hugely attracted to him, I would have been really creeped out and actually taken a step to the side (you all know someone who has gotten that close).  But with this guy... I liked it.  For a while, he just stood there, watching the race.  So I just kept doing my thing.  Runners started coming in.  I cheered.  I instructed.  I high-fived all the little kids, and some of the older ones.  He made a joke about a friend's son running in clogs.  He laughed and smiled.  Was he talking to me?  I melted a little inside.

He walked away.  DAMNIT!  Okay, be cool.  Keep cheering, runners keep coming in.  I kept watch out of the corner of my eye.  He came back.  He started talking to the girl who was logging the runners' finish times, who was sitting right in front of me at the finish line.  My mind was processing.  Ah yes, they were running the timing system?  Were they some kind of officials?  Who were they?  Were they a couple?  Was he just standing next to me because she was sitting right in front of me?  Hmmm....

Then the race was over.  I got swept up with talking to my running club peeps.  I saw him take down the posts of the finish chute. Yes, he was working/volunteering in some capacity with the timing system.  He does races.  Who was he?

He and the other two women running the race timing stayed off to the side while the awards were given out.  Then soon after, they hopped in a car and were gone.  I saw my opportunity disappear into the wind like mist from a spray bottle.  Was there something?  Did I imagine it?  Why was I such an idiot?  So many things came to mind that I could have said--hi, my name is ---, so, do you ever run any of these races? do you run the timing for a lot of races? so was this an early morning for you, too? aren't those little kids cute?  ANYthing.  Why do I only think of these things an hour after it's too late?

*headsmack* I am such an idiot.

This may be a chronic condition.  Sometimes I hope I'll snap out of it, but sometimes I also like to think that the right guy will find a way over that hurdle and make the conversation happen anyway.  Of course, fate would be greatly aided if I could just get over myself.

*sigh*

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Have you been on a date lately?

Dates are a requirement! I'm not looking for million dollar dates, but I'm looking for SOMETHING. Put some thought into it to show you care!

~What is NOT a date?~

1. Drinks: NEVER count as a "date" ever!!!!!
A guy is just trying to get you "loose as a goose" to get in your pants.

2. Coffee: It's a cup of coffee. It's drink status minus the buzz.
Unless, you have mulitiple coffees then you might be caffeine buzzed.

3. Movies: You're not even talking!

Although good conversation can develop with these three opitions.
I will never count them as dates.

~D~A~T~E~S~

1. A walk in the park: It is an activity! You both are doing something "active" which does not take place in a bedroom! Checkmark for "yes" this is a date!

2. Dinner: Dinner is always a date unless it is a first meeting.

3. A dog introduction: You introduce your dog to his.
Now that is a sign things are getting serious.

4. Running in the park: I don't care if he sees me "sweaty" and "gross." Ladies, if he does not accept you at  your "worst" then he doesn't deserve to see you at your best. The winded look is hot and in for the fall season!

Still questioning what is a date and what is not?
Secret message me! I'll tell it like it is!!!

Then again, guys, you can make some type of plan and conclude with the words "it's a date." That will completely take the questioning out of the game even if you go for coffee.

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7