Hi, my name is totally clueless, nice to meet you.

It had been an early morning, up at 5:30am to brave the cold and rain to volunteer at a road race.  Eventually the sun came up to reveal a nice Fall day--brisk, crisp, and bright.  I checked runners in, sipped coffee, and enjoyed the pretty (albeit bleary-eyed) race environment.  When the race eventually was underway, I positioned myself at my station at the finish line to cheer for the runners and instruct them to stay in order and move through the chute.

While standing there waiting for the first runner to arrive, I saw Mr. Mysterious standing on the side.  Who was he?  He wasn't part of our running club, and he didn't appear to be one of the cops, and definitely wasn't one of the city councilmen.  He was just a young guy wearing track pants and a jacket, watching the race.  Hellooooooo, man of mystery, you are really cute.... I kept peeking at him, and when I saw him look up my direction, my eyes would dart away.  Then I'd peek back, he'd look up, and I'd look away.  This happened a few times before I told myself I may be borderline creepy and maybe I should stop it.

Then he walked over.  RIGHT next to me.  Like, right in my personal space.  Like, if I wasn't hugely attracted to him, I would have been really creeped out and actually taken a step to the side (you all know someone who has gotten that close).  But with this guy... I liked it.  For a while, he just stood there, watching the race.  So I just kept doing my thing.  Runners started coming in.  I cheered.  I instructed.  I high-fived all the little kids, and some of the older ones.  He made a joke about a friend's son running in clogs.  He laughed and smiled.  Was he talking to me?  I melted a little inside.

He walked away.  DAMNIT!  Okay, be cool.  Keep cheering, runners keep coming in.  I kept watch out of the corner of my eye.  He came back.  He started talking to the girl who was logging the runners' finish times, who was sitting right in front of me at the finish line.  My mind was processing.  Ah yes, they were running the timing system?  Were they some kind of officials?  Who were they?  Were they a couple?  Was he just standing next to me because she was sitting right in front of me?  Hmmm....

Then the race was over.  I got swept up with talking to my running club peeps.  I saw him take down the posts of the finish chute. Yes, he was working/volunteering in some capacity with the timing system.  He does races.  Who was he?

He and the other two women running the race timing stayed off to the side while the awards were given out.  Then soon after, they hopped in a car and were gone.  I saw my opportunity disappear into the wind like mist from a spray bottle.  Was there something?  Did I imagine it?  Why was I such an idiot?  So many things came to mind that I could have said--hi, my name is ---, so, do you ever run any of these races? do you run the timing for a lot of races? so was this an early morning for you, too? aren't those little kids cute?  ANYthing.  Why do I only think of these things an hour after it's too late?

*headsmack* I am such an idiot.

This may be a chronic condition.  Sometimes I hope I'll snap out of it, but sometimes I also like to think that the right guy will find a way over that hurdle and make the conversation happen anyway.  Of course, fate would be greatly aided if I could just get over myself.

*sigh*

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic