Single girl rant, aka Throw Me a Bone!

In what I could refer to as a "sister" blog, I saw this entry and was inspired to write an entry of my own.  I guess you could say it hit a nerve.

A lot of prejudice exists in our society today, and a lot of it has been there since the beginning of time.  We constantly debate the equal treatment for different races, genders, and sexual orientation.  But maybe it's about time someone spoke up for the single people.

Our society was built such that marriage is the ultimate goal.  Very recently this has been shifting, with a higher divorce rate inspiring more people to cohabitate and/or put off marriage.  But subtle signs are everywhere suggesting that you somehow lead a less important life if you are single.  Whenever I go anywhere, people give me pitiful looks because I am by myself.  My married friends don't talk to me anymore, partly because they're busy with their kids, but also let's face it--they don't know how to relate to me anymore.  It's like I'm a crazy alien party child who wanted to ditch "normal" things like a husband and children in favor of getting trashed every night.  My family asks me every time I see them if I'm seeing anyone, or when am I ever going to get married, yet very little celebration occurred when I completed my masters degree and got a job out of state.  In fact, the things that are traditionally celebrated in life are marriages and babies.  Why don't I get to create a gift registry for finishing grad school, or for getting an apartment by myself?  If I never get married, I will have had to pay for everything I have in my apartment with no assistance through registering for gifts of things like sheets and dishes and kitchen utensils.  This occurred to me just yesterday when I realized I still had the old, shitty knives I got out of college, assuming I would upgrade to good knives when I got married.  I guess it's time to screw that idea--I need new knives now.

And how about those finances?  If I do anything I want to do, I have to pay more (I pay for my rent and all utilities, student loans, etc. on a single salary, I don't get to split a hotel room when I travel, etc.). If I want smaller servings of food at the grocery store so that I can make a meal for myself that I won't have to eat for an entire week, I have to pay a premium.  I can never get all the good deals for meals or vacations or movies or whatever "for two" (and believe me--I have asked if the deal still applies "for one."  It doesn't.).  I have to do all the chores myself that a married couple might split--pay bills, clean the apartment, maintain the car, kill the scary-looking bugs, make annoying phone calls to the cable company that I'd love to pass off on someone else, etc.  And the salt on the wound is, married couples, even the ones with two incomes, get a tax break.  Not me.

I never wanted to be a bitchy single person.  And I'm not one of those people who says, "rah rah!  I'm single because that's what I want, and I love it!"  Truth is, I would love nothing more than to have a family of my own.  But why should I be punished for not being able to get what I want out of life?  Why do I need to be reminded that not only do I have to finacially support myself, bail out my own ass when I get into trouble, and deal with problems myself instead of having a significant other to lean on, but also get pity from those around me like I've somehow failed in life?  Because I wasn't lucky enough thus far to have met the perfect man of my dreams, why do I also have to be subtly chastised in life?  I swear I am not bitter.  It's just that those little subtle jabs pushing me into marriage over the course of thirty years start to wear on my nerves.

I am not a poor lost soul who has no direction in life.  I am not a wild party girl who just wants to get trashed every night.  I am not dependant on having someone else and incapable of being alone.  And I am not a sub-class citizen just because I haven't found love yet.  I am just a normal person who is trying to find happiness in life, just like everyone else.  I will never list my "status" on Facebook as "single" because that does not define who I am.  It would just be nice if the universe would throw a single girl a bone every now and then.

No pun intended in that last line.  I swear.

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic