I was thinking today about the "what-ifs." You know, those things in life that you look back on and wonder what might have happened. Specifically, there is a guy out there in a far away city that I was friends with way back when we were kids. He moved away, and after a while we got re-connected when we were in college, and then later on Facebook. I saw him a couple of times, but mostly we just stayed in touch via the miracle of the internet. Since we grew up and got re-connected as adults, I always felt there was something there. There's a certain chemistry the few times we've been together, and there's even a certain chemistry when we communicate online. I get the feeling that we have similar souls--we look at life in similar ways.
I never thought much of it, until a mutual friend pointed this online chemistry out to me. The fact that she noticed it made me realize maybe it wasn't just in my head. I always thought that if I ever ended up in the same city as he was, I would ask him out. And sometimes I wonder what that would be like, and what might happen. And that makes me think about how life is a bitch. I wouldn't relocate myself just in the hopes of having a date. And maybe it seems unreasonable to go on a date with him next time I'm in town visiting just to "see what happens." But I wonder how much of life really is what we make of it and how much is just happenstance. How much should we leave up to "fate," or whatever, and how much should we go after? I've come to believe that love is not something I can push, because the more effort I make and the more I push it, the more nothing goes my way. So I gave up trying, and whatever happens, will happen. It's a funny thing, though--love. And fate. And attempting to control our own lives.
Just pondering. You may return to your regularly scheduled lives now.
Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic
I think there's a difference between trying and having unrealistic expectations. Now, I know of or have read of people who started relationships long distance and they eventually led to a commitment or marriage, but I think that requires at least one half of the couple being willing to relocate.
ReplyDeleteI do think that if people are meant to be together, it'll happen eventually. Timing is everything. I know a couple who just got married. They'd met online, and after two dates he kind of blew her off. She got over it, obviously. He met someone else, got engaged, eventually broke up with his fiance, and reconnected with this original woman he'd had the two dates with. She agreed to be his friend during his rough break-up. It eventually led to him acknowledging his true feelings for her and here they are. Sorry for the long-winded and poorly written comment. I'm just rambling :)
Yeah, I think the same thing--it something is meant to be, it'll happen. I also think it isn't really an accident, and I wouldn't call it fate. Things like that happen because one person wanted it to happen enough to take the initiative, and probably the other person was at least open to it until it grew to something more. What people think of as fate is really just someone wanting something enough to get past their own neuroses.
DeleteSometimes I think that may be why I'm still single. There's too much panic going on in my own head that prevents me from taking action on something I really want, even if it's something simple like just asking someone on a date. In this case, I've often wondered about the "what if," but am way too bashful to explore any possibility. Does getting stuck in my own head mean and not being able to break free of my own shortfalls mean that my "fate" is to be alone forever? It's kind of a depressing way of looking at things, but then again, all evidence does point that way. ;)
However, if that guy called me up and told me he always wondered the same thing, I would be open to exploring something in a heartbeat, and if it turned into anything serious, I would absolutely relocate. I just wouldn't relocate only on a hope.
Another drawn-out comment. Sorry. :)
Don't think in terms of what ifs what is meant to be will be!!!
ReplyDelete