"Where's my wheelchair?"

That’s exactly what I said to some hottie. I know it’s a strange thing to say. It definitely does not sound attractive. It’s a terrible pickup line. And it probably won’t get any guy to sleep with me (unless he is 80 years old, which we all know I can still get them!).

But that phrase got me and Mr. Sexy talking.

I did not just pick any strange thing to say, although I am known not to hold back. I did not want to sound like a fool to this yummy piece of meat and lose any chance of devouring him. Allow me to explain my rationale for saying this statement. 

Some background: the man that I am referring to works at an arena in which I report to work some games. I see him at every game with a wheelchair. The Disbeliever and I both like him. Hearts must be floating above our heads when we see him. We would talk amongst each other about how hot he is. This did not do us any good. It just made me want to rip his usher suit off him every time I saw him. It’s torture because there is a norm called professionalism that people follow, apparently.

Nevertheless, something had to be done about this situation. Talking about him all the time, but never talking to him, did not help any. I can’t possibly go on the whole season not saying a word to him. I had to take advantage of my days at work. I had one season to make things progress. For the good of the blog.

One faithful day at work, I said to myself that I will say something to him, no matter how ridiculous. I just could not take it anymore.

“Where’s my wheelchair?” I blurted out.

“Right here!” He smiled.

OMG. I had so many teenybopper thoughts jumping around in my head. “He talked to me! He knows I exist!”

When I told the Disbeliever that I broke the ice with him, she was in disbelief.

It probably took me no more than the fifth day of seeing him at work for me to speak up. I can’t keep things in. If a girl likes a guy, she needs to say it. I think guys like when a girl makes the first moves because it makes it easier for them. Some may fear rejection or be too shy, so they keep their mouths zipped. Sometimes girls have to “man up.”

The wheelchair conversation (my question and his reply) went on for a few more days. There really was not much time to say more than that because we were both busy. The more I said the phrase, however, the naughtier his responses. ;)

“Where’s my wheelchair?”

“I’ll put you in this wheelchair!”

#^&@!

Another day, I saw him standing all sexy by himself against the wall. I was walking toward him and I kept looking at him until we made eye contact. Connection established.

“I really need a wheelchair. My legs hurt,” I said, bending down and rubbing my quads.

He bent down to take a gander. It looked like he was going to touch them. God, I wish he did.

“I’ll wheel you around!”

You wheel me right-round, baby, right round. 

I said to myself that I need to step it up even more. This needs to progress. I consulted with the Disbeliever on what to say next time. We came up with a list of questions and decided that the next thing to ask is his recommendations for places to hang out after work in the hood. This would give us a clue if he lives in the area. Above all, it is a sneaky way of indirectly giving him the hint to hang out after work. 

Ladies, see how it’s done.

“Hey, do you know any good places to hang out around here after work?” 

He named one bar and told a story about some kind of fight that he saw. That does not sound like a good place to go. He talked for about five minutes— enough time for me to read his name tag and to be in laalaa land.

“I just moved to (city in which he and I work) so I am looking for some places to go.” (I am letting him know where I live and he will most likely reciprocate with where he lives.)

He almost hit the ceiling when he found out that I live in the same city as he does. 

Already, we have something in common. I should invite him to my housewarming party. ;)

From then on, conversations started progressing. Rather than me say something first, now he is the one initiating conversation, whether it is a smile or a few words. I don’t remember what he says because he is just too dang hot! It doesn’t matter. “It’s all good in da hood!” as I said to him.

Now we are at the point where he will surprise me with a touch on my back that gives me the shivers. He also invited me to some place, but I was not sure if it was the name of a bar or if it was his home address. He also gave me part of his phone number when I was actually asking a customer for his phone number. I remember the first six numbers. 

I am very proud of the progression. It took an entire season to get to this level, but each day at work was a step above the previous day. It is not necessary to say something outrageous to get a guy’s attention. However, if the phrase is a joke or relates to the person, go ahead and say it. It also shows a girl’s sense of humor and gives the guy a glimpse of her personality. It’s more memorable than the meek “hi.”

There are a few more games until the end of the season. What should I say to him now to move things along? I do not expect anything to come out of this as far as a relationship. I don’t see myself dating him, but I am totally open to hanging out. Banging would be a bonus. ;)

I know…once you go black, you’ll never go back.

 
Keepin’ it real,
   Realist