Poll Results, and Some Introspection

I've been naughty.

Which is completely appropriate in some scenarios, I realize, but in this case it is entirely out of character.  But being naughty feels good sometimes when it's out of character--I think we all have a little devil inside that we need to get out of our systems on occasion.  It comes out in different ways for different people--be it secret indulgences, excessive partying, breaking rules, or in my case, engaging in serious flirtations with someone very very far away, thus creating a scenario wherein I will most likely end up hurt.

I realize the danger in this situation, and obviously the tug-of-war between the pleasure and fun and the emotional risk does not have a clear winner, as yesterday's poll ended up in an even split down the middle.  I have been in similar situations before, and I know how hard I fall when it comes to my emotions--perhaps harder than the average person.  Sometimes it takes me years to get over heartbreak.

In this current deviation, it seems harmless to start.  I do not have any emotional feelings (yet), so it doesn't yet feel like anyone can be hurt.  And let's be honest, it feels good.  It is refreshing to be told nice things and to get excited and to make someone else excited and realize the effect you can have on other people.  Without these things, a person can start to feel dead, so after a long hiatus, it is invigorating to feel alive again.

However, there is the inevitable.  While all is fine now, most likely the longer this continues, feelings will develop.  Science has shown that the same part of the brain manages addiction, lust, and love, so even though the act of love involves a commitment to another person, the feeling of love develops out of lust and a feeling of addiction to another person.  Thus, the more sexytime you involve yourself in, the more likely you are to become addicted and develop feelings.

Thus, I may be at a fork in the road.  I could continue to have fun, since I need a little of that in my life right now, and just see where the road takes me.  Or, I could stop it now before I am at any risk of becoming heartbroken.

Trying to stay positive,

Skeptic