Alas, such is the case with one friend now. We've been friends for many years, so I know him about as well as I ever will. I like our friendship, but have zero interest in anything beyond that. He, however, has become progressively more attached, at times clingy and smothering to the point that makes me very uncomfortable. Most of the time I avoid it and ignore it, afraid of saying something that will hurt his feelings or our friendship. But the smothering is really rather irritating.
What to do? I realize it's a difficult situation for him, too, as there may not be an easy way out of the situation. But what is he expecting to happen? I have been the person in the past who crushes from afar, and will say that it goes nowhere and is a slow form of torture. Shit or get off the pot, please. Either go for it and ask me out, or get over it. Yes, if he went for it I would turn him down, but from his perspective, how is sitting on the fence fun? Wouldn't you rather know where things stand, and if it isn't going to happen, find a way sooner rather than later to get over it and move on? There's a lot of life ahead of us all, and I don't think it's fun to waste it pining away for someone who isn't going to return anything. We all deserve more than that. I know this from experience.
Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic
Haha skeptic the last line was definately made for me! I really laughed out loud! Once the cat is out of the bag really friendship is over and you are left with nothing.. No friendship... No flirtyness... No nothing..
ReplyDeleteI put that because I'm not talking about anyone you know!
ReplyDeleteI'm just so irritated with it all. All the offers to visit me, the constant compliments, etc. If he would just knock it off and get over it, everything would be fine. But the way it is, he is ruining the friendship, just as you say.
This sounds like a frustrating situation. I'm kind of in it right now, and while I have zero interest the guy (we are acquaintances only, not friends), it's the same thing of - just man up and ask me out! Enough of this awkward clinginess and even more awkward innuendos.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion would be to pull away from him... not cease being his friend, but not initiate or seek him out. That might help curb his feelings.
Just a general comment, not directed at you - I'm not comfortable with having male friends because I feel like at some point, one person is going to cross a line and it will ruin the friendship.
Yeah, it's true. I did back off for a while a year or two ago, which helped, but it all started happening again. I guess it's time to try again. You would think with me living far away it would go away, but it seems to have gotten worse. How can someone live like that? Go find someone who will appreciate you the way you deserve!
ReplyDeleteIt would be nice if we could be rational when it comes to feelings :) However, I understand how it makes you uncomfortable and annoyed... it's one thing to ask someone out and get rejected, it's another thing to pine over them and not do anything.
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