I am fascinated by the way the mind works, and was flipping through the most recent copy of Scientific American Mind recently when I found myself reading a great article about online dating. It's everything you would instinctually think is true about the pros and cons of online dating, just with scientific evidence to back it up. Fascinating read.
Unfortunately, it looks like the complete article is not available online. So all I can say is, get yourself to the nearest drugstore or wherever you can find magazines near you, and find a copy of the magazine. I think you'll like it.
Here's the very short preview that's available online (the actual article, as a feature article in the issue, is many pages long).
Essentially, the article describes that although dating/mating has evolved much over time, the shift to online dating, while it accounts for the starts of almost as many relationships as a connection with a friend, is not completely constructive. This is because:
- People may not be good judges of the qualities in an online profile which would appeal to them in person,
- Comparing multiple prospects side-by-side is not necessarily an effective way to evaluate compatibility, and
- Having many options may not allow for good decisions for one's romantic future
The article explains the science behind these points, as well as some other notions about online dating. One I find interesting is the idea of seeing online dating as "relationshopping," by going into it with a list of requirements, shopping for a date by income and hair color rather than factors that matter more in compatibility such as rapport and sense of humor. Somehow very superficial factors get put on a pedestal, as if everyone in the world is ultimately attracted to the same things. "Singles at a party would not all mob one attractive person, which is effectively what happens online."
Anyway, I ramble a bit. But it really is a great read--check it out.
Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic
With relationship shopping everyone goes for different qualities depending on the person. Rapport and sense of humor are important qualities to have being that you can't find these qualities in onliners!!! I know people will thInk I'm bogus for saying that.. I tell you to prove me wrong then!!!!! I do agree with your party situation... Onliners tend to not fear rejection as much via web. In person these are not the type to know what to say do to lack of socializing!!!!
ReplyDeleteWell, you *could* find someone with a good sense of humor and/or someone you have a good rapport with online, but the problem is you can't tell those qualities until you meet someone in person. So you'd either have to meet everyone online in person, or have the judgment to pick out those qualities from a written profile, which science proves is nearly impossible because they are more personable characteristics by nature, rather than something like height or recreational interests. That's why online dating often proves to be unsuccessful, unless you just happen to find someone with whom you have a good rapport when you meet them, but that would be just luck.
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