Why do I always get the elders?

The lights do a quick flash across the bar. It’s as if lightning struck the head of this guy at the bar, turning on the light bulb that gives him the crazy idea to talk to me.

Somehow he crosses the invisible circle of my friends and starts dancing with me. He broke the law. I shake my head, roll my eyes, and do a whole bunch of other gestures to my friends behind his back. They laugh because they predicted that this would happen. If I took a bet that this same scenario would occur every time that I went out, I would be a millionaire.

I am certainly a millionaire when it comes to attracting elders because I’ve gotten a million of these sugar daddies!

It’s a given that when I go out with my friends, I will be the one to always get the old men. I hate it. I don’t know why they always pick me. Why do they want young girls? They probably want to prove to themselves and to their friends that they “still got it.” Do they actually think that I would go for them? These guys are 10 years older than me! Give up already!

On the other extreme, I also have had my share of getting guys that are too young. I prefer them over the elders though. But I can never get the middle ground—the guys who are my age or a few years older than me. In fact, I do not have any friends, or know any guys my age. Were no males born in my year? I see plenty of guys my age at bars. That is where they stay— at the bar. They need to be reeled away. I have actually done the reeling in motion to them…maybe that is why they don’t bite. Seriously though, I’ll make eye contact with them and even approach them and say something that is outrageous or as bold as “How you doin’?" I’ve tried both approaches. They freeze. I guess I scared them.

This leads me to believe that they are too afraid to approach girls. It just comes off that they are dull bowling pins that would not budge with a 12 lb. ball coming at them 30 MPH. It’s impossible to get a strike. Spare me! OK enough of the jokes.

Guys my age have well over three strikes. (I couldn’t help it.) They are so insecure and are afraid to take risks. This leaves me to do the work. But if he can’t approach me to say “Hi”, then how can he have the guts to do anything else?

I have done some psychoanalysis of youngens, middles, and elders when it comes to risk-taking. Specifically, simply when approaching a girl. Apparently it is not that simple.

Youngens (0-22): They are in the exploration stage. Risk-taking and sensation-seeking best describes them. Nothing scares them-- not even rejection. They have plenty of time to develop their schmoozing skills. They give out their numbers freely as if they were business cards (call me for a good time!). They have nothing to lose…except their virginity. By the way, you are a sick person if you date a zero-year old, you pedophile.

Middles (23-45): They are in limbo. They are afraid of rejection, lack confidence, and are insecure. Because they have been rejected before as youngen, they are afraid to get rejected again like the elders. They’d rather wait until a girl makes the move. Reality is, she has already made a move— moving to the beat with her butt grinding against some guy’s balls who was ballsy enough to make the first move because he actually has balls!

Elders (46 and over the hill): They are similar to the youngens in taking risks, except they will ask anything with boobs. They have been on the prowl for such a long time that rejection no longer affects them. They also have nothing to lose. The difference is their motive for approaching girls. Getting attention from younger girls enhances their self-esteem and proves themselves that they still have what it takes to be Macho Man. 

I think that guys, regardless of their category, need a little bit from all these age groups. For the youngens, being too free-spirited may lead to not wanting to commit, or even cheating. The elders need to seek age-appropriate bars in order to have a better success rate of being taken seriously. The middles need a little bit of balls from both the youngens and elders (figuratively speaking).

Keepin' it real,

  Realist

The NEW trend that turns women on

They look good, smell good, and are the nicest guys ever. We want them so bad, but they don’t want us. We like to think that even though the chance of them converting is very small, we still have hope that we can change their minds with just one night.

But no matter how much we try to flirt with them or even try to convince ourselves that it just can’t be true, they are who they are.

They’re gay.

There was a recent interview with Ricky Martin on TV. We were shocked to hear that he was gay. He sure tricked us with his romantic and lustrous songs such as “She Bangs.” Nevertheless, that man is beautiful in so many ways. He is poised, well manicured, well dressed, and is so sure of himself. These are qualities that many straight men lack, but should adopt. What makes him even hotter is that he is an import with a sultry accent…and because neither we nor any other woman will ever have him. That lucky son of a…

Anyway, the fact is that women love gay men. According to Cosmo (pg. 36), many women are turned on by gay porn. Women have begun reading much more gay erotica. Over 90 percent of one gay erotica's fan mail is coming from chicks.

Why are women being drawn to this dude-on-dude action?

Before Brokeback Mountain, it was a risk for a male to take on a gay role for fear of turning off mainstream audience. In the past, when a gay character was featured they were portrayed as feminine types. Now, more depth to gay characters is featured. Not all gays are feminine types and praise the media for recognizing this fact!

A big part of the draw to gay porn is that women cannot participate in this activity themselves. They are left with their imaginations running wild. Physical sex scenes involving man-on-man tend to be more aggressive.

This may very well be the spice needed to vamp up a woman’s sex life.

Here are our reasons why gay men are appealing.

1.   They are confident. They have that I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude about what anyone thinks. They love who they are.

2.   They dress impeccable. They should be models.

3.   They are gay (happy)! Why shouldn’t they be? They have both sexes wanting them! They also don’t have to deal with divorce and all that baggage that comes with marriage.

4.   They have excellent design aesthetics. It is so hot that a guy shares a woman’s passion for décor—and whom she can trust to go to Pier One and come back with amazing furniture!

5.   They are really, really nice. They call women “honey” and “sweetie”, which melts the hearts of women. Gay men are so pleasant that it’s very hard to pick an argument with them.

6.   They are very empathetic. They are willing to listen to women. Women can always rely on gay men for advice. They understand women and they know what they like!

7.   They are eccentric. They are not the norm. Being unique is hot.

8.   They are clean! They shave and make sure they look good—even if they are going to the food store!

9.   They are a woman’s BFFE. Whether it’s for advice, a shopping trip, or to get an honest opinion, gay men are everything a woman wants, except…

10.  Women can never have them! Maybe it’s the thrill of the chase, but let’s face it— a gay man will always be gay. Bummer! L

Dating misconceptions are dated

We just want to clear up some misconceptions when it comes to dating. We hope this puts an end to these misconceptions!

1. Older girls want to get married. We both have dated younger men. We love them, but we are sick of hearing that we are just looking for marriage! Sure we are within the “marrying age” (although an "official" age range for marriage is nonexistent). Statistics show that women are getting married much later in life (30s). They want to establish a career first. Good idea!

2. We want Prince Charming. Tall, dark, and handsome is not on every girl’s list of qualities that they want in a guy. Girls prefer guys whose qualities do not have a face, but a heart. Oftentimes, it is these qualities— sense of humor, kindness, smarts, ambition— that makes guys attractive. 

  

3. First date: dinner and a movie. Zzzzzzzzz… Let's go bowling, to a park, or to a hockey game and we will both get to know each other better. There is no pressure and there will not be any awkward silences. Going on active dates also avoids the scripted…

4. Boring interview. What do you do? What do you do for fun? Are you in school? What is your major? Where do you live? How many kids do you want? This sounds like a girlfriend application. We’d quit before being hired.

5. Girls love bad boys. If anything, it is a phase that happens usually in high school. Girls do not want to get involved with guys who show signs of oppositional defiant disorder (ie., criminal background, abuse and use substances, engages in mischief behavior, expulsion from school, violates rules, no respect for authority). Girls like sweethearts, not rebels.

6. The three-day rule. If a guy likes a girl, he should not have to wait three days to talk to her or to ask her out for a second date. It does not scream “desperate.” It just means that the guy has the girl on the brain. Waiting is torture for both sides. Life is too short. The time is now!

7. Diamonds are a girl’s BFFE. No, our pets are. But go ahead and give us something meaningful that can’t be bought in stores and you just might surpass Java and Laa Laa! Girls like gifts that are unique and thoughtful, whether it is a note, poem, homemade cookies, a card, or something that reminded you of the first date. Then you can impress them about how you made it or thought of the idea. Don’t get upset if they laugh about your disfigured flower. Within laughter is a smile. (Dang that’s a good quote. Copyright!)

8.  We are Ms. Independent. While we are accomplished women, that does not mean we do not need you. Guys are like whipped cream, if you know what I mean. ;) They make our life sweet.

9. Chivalry is dead. Someone please call 9-1-1 to save Chivalry! Guys may think that opening the car door is old fashioned, but girls love it! Girls will not laugh at you for your kind gestures. We are actually thinking that your mom brought you up really well….and we want to personally thank them. Keep chivalry from being extinct by opening doors, carrying heavy bags, calling or texting us if we got home safe, treating us at dates, or pulling out chairs from under the table. Don’t let the Ms. Independent façade get to you!

10. We want to control or (Gasp!) change you! The reason why we like you is that we got hooked on something about you. There is no point in changing that. We like you the way you are.

If anything needs to change, it is these misconceptions!

Keepin’ it real,

    Realist

Avoid the boys of the bar!

Top 10 reasons to avoid looking for boys at bars

10.  Out for a good time~  Most are not looking for anything more than just that.

9.  O' the smell~ I HATE the smell of sweaty alcoholics. Even if you don't think you smell while drinking, you do!

8. Their true self~  Welcome to their true self. Drinking lowers those inhibitions to a point of not giving a flying "f." The drunk self is the true self. The sober self is the one that cares!

7. Low self-esteem~ Guys that chill at bars have low self-esteem. They are not having dates with chicks if they are chillen at a bar both Friday and Saturday nights. Plus, they need drinks to be involved in order for ladies to find them attractive.

6. Lie for kicks~ My unfortunate dumbass believed I met the owner of Shannon Rose's son one night and he created chat roulette. It was my first time hearing of chat roulette that night, in my defense. I ran into them once after that night, but I called them assholes. Having fun while I'm the butt of a joke is not attractive.

5. The repeat offenders~ Same bar, same weekend routine, same old people. Need I say more?  

4. They are desperate~ Occasionally, a bar boy will score my number. I erase guys from my life after not hearing from them in three days. You will hear from them in three years because they never let go.

3. "Let me buy you a drink"~ Rarely do I fall for this scheme. Don't let them buy you drinks! They will stick to you like a magnet to a fridge the rest of the evening.

2. Grinding your penis on my ass~ No that does NOT make you any type of dancer.

1. Beer goggles~ Need I say more? They do exist! They are definitely not as hot as they appeared the night before!


Take our poll! Do you think you could meet qaulity guys are bars?

<3 "K" the disbeliver disbelieving 24/7

Workin' it at the gym

     I was doing calf raises on a leg press machine when a guy asked if we can rotate. I told him that I had 20 left and he expressed a puzzled look. When I asked him why he gave me that look, he said that I’m doing an awful lot of reps. He asked me if I am doing this for rehab. I said no. Then he said usually people who are injured will do a lot of reps. I said that I am kind of injured.
   
     At this point I am beat red, not only from lifting but from blushing! I was as red as my shirt! I felt so embarrassed. I said that I may have slight shin splints, so I am taking it easy. He asked if I run because shin splints are a common complaint from runners. I told him that I do run and that I am resting for my 5K tomorrow, and a 10K the day after. I haven’t ran in two days. He runs 2-3 times per week (check plus) now because he tore his ACL and got surgery. He showed me his scar. He ran cross country in high school and wrestled. He said that he doesn’t do as much crazy stuff as he did years ago, like cliff diving and snowboarding (check plus). I told him that my orthopedic surgeon said to stop running and do other things instead, like swimming. He agreed with me that it’s not the same effect as running.

     I believe in being at the right place at the right time. The gym is the place to be.

     Then I went to the next machine. There was an awkward silent moment. I left it up to him if he wanted to keep talking.

     He asked me what my major is. I told him that I am post-graduate in counseling. I explained my program to him. He said he is in graduate school, too (check plus)! I thought he was an undergraduate because he looks young and is short. He is graduating this May with his M.A.T. He has a B.A. in biology from Sacred Heart University in Connecticut. I think he is 24 or 25. I forgot what he said.

     He was rambling a lot and he actually said that he gets hyperactive when he has been up all day. (I think his nervousness was to blame, not the fact that he woke up early.) He was up since 6 a.m. because he was student teaching at a nearby school. We talked about the difference between SCU and MSU and why he chose MSU. Finances were a huge reason because tuition is more expensive to live out of state. I like that he said this: “I didn’t want to go back to live with my parents because I think I am a pretty independent person (check plus), but it is much cheaper to commute.” Loved it!

     We talked for about one hour. He has many check pluses. He is smart, close to my age, in school, has ambition, works out, and runs. I was so happy that I came to the gym at that time. I thought that if anywhere, I would meet someone at the gym.

     I was done with that machine and got up to go the next one. He said he is leaving. I noticed that he only had his keys in his hand and no cell phone to take my number. I wanted to see if he would ask for my number regardless. I did not see why he wouldn’t. We had a great conversation.

     We got up and he introduced himself as Dave. We shook hands and I told him my name. He said, “So next time you see me, you know my name.” I told him that I will be here. I said it was nice meeting him. Off he went.

     I was disappointed that he didn’t ask for my number. What a letdown. I thought of asking for his number, but I also didn’t have my phone with me. I like to leave the phone number exchange up to the guy. If he were interested, he would have asked. However, I think he didn’t ask for it because he didn’t have his phone with him. Maybe he thought I would not give him my number. Or he may have a girlfriend. I didn’t get the impression that he has one though…but you never know. I don’t want to be another secret.

    

Do you think that I should have asked him for his number? Why do you think he didn’t ask for mine? Do you think he is interested?

Keepin’ it real,

   Realist

A happy customer :)

I was at the post office and I really did not want to be there. The line was so long. I don’t know if the cashier could tell that I was antsy, but he really cheered me up! Finally it was my turn. He was probably in his 30s. I think he is an import! He gives excellent customer service!

“I like your nail polish,” he said about my favorite nail polish—electric blue. It has an excellent track record of getting compliments.

“Thanks!”

“It matches your top.”

“Yeah, it does! Every week I pick a different color.”

“That’s an interesting way of doing it! Very unique!”

               

“I choose my nail polish based on how I’m feeling. I was feeling vibrant, so I chose this color!”

              

“Well you are very vibrant! You have a nice smile. You’re very bubbly.”

“Thank you!” I blushed.

“It looks good on you, especially with your tan.”

“Thank you! Oh my goodness!” I laugh.

“Have you ever tried using all different colors on each nail?”

“No I haven’t. I’ll have to try it.”

“Try it. It’ll look good. With that smile, you look good in anything. Everything that you say and do is beautiful.”

“Awww! Thank you!”

I paid him.       

                 

He paid me with compliments.

I smiled all the way home. Now that is a happy customer.

Leave a comment on a Facebook picture

My hypothesis: Leave a comment on a guy's picture and he will circle back into your life.

A little background to my story: I added this hottie to my Facebook roughly last yeari. I made up some story about knowing him by playing volleyball against him. This never really happened. I just needed a story. The guy is basically an onliner at his finest. Then one day this summer, I actually met him at the beach! Not only did he meet me,  he met my mom, my friend's ma, and my two girlfriends. He recognized me off my Facebook picture and then texted asking if I was at the beach! I heard from him a little bit after actually meeting and then he faded away.

Here is a snippet of our convo:
Guy [12:25 A.M.]:  what did u buy me
KIM [12:27 A.M.]:  the thong
KIM [12:27 A.M.]:  ill give it to you one size fits alll!!!  
Guy [12:27 A.M.]:  ill just take it off u ;-)
KIM [12:27 A.M.]:  i cant believe Victoria Secret would make such a product 
Guy [12:27 A.M.]:  show me
KIM [12:28 A.M.]:  ok 
Guy[12:30 A.M.]:  whut
KIM [12:30 A.M.]:  where?
Guy[12:30 A.M.]:  do i see
CRAAZYKIM [12:31 A.M.]:  prob not since your just an onliner
kicker07pv [12:32 A.M.]:  huh
KIM [12:32 A.M.]:  how can you see if your just an onliner 
Guy [12:32 A.M.]:  what do u mean by that
KIM [12:32 A.M.]:  I only talk to you online
Guy[12:33 A.M.]:  cuz u never ask to hang out
KIM [12:33 A.M.]:  you are a cyberspacer 
Guy [12:33 A.M.]:  do u want to hang out in person
KIM [12:34 A.M.]:  sure
Guy[12:34 A.M.]:  k lets do that then
KIM [12:34 A.M.]:  when
Guy[12:35 A.M.]:  what u doin sun night
KIM [12:35 A.M.]:  nothing as of now 
Guy [12:37 A.M.]:  wanna maybe do somethin that night
KIM [12:37 A.M.]:  like what 
Guy [12:37 A.M.]:  u can check out my thongs
KIM [12:37 A.M.]:  how many do you own
Guy [12:37 A.M.]:  14
KIM [12:38 A.M.]:  for real that is more than me
Guy[12:38 A.M.]:  we can have a thong party
KIM [12:39 A.M.]:  how sexual of you 
Guy [12:39 A.M.]:  haha
Guy [12:39 A.M.]:  i am sexual person
Guy [12:42 A.M.]:  but seriously what u wanna do
KIM [12:43 A.M.]:  want to run in a race with me its a 10k 
Guy [12:43 A.M.]:  what time
KIM [12:44 A.M.]:  its at 12 on sunday 
Guy [12:49 A.M.]:  hmm
Guy[12:49 A.M.]:  maybe
Guy[1:00 A.M.]:  what u doin
KIM [1:00 A.M.]:  im writing for my blog 
Guy [1:00 A.M.]:  ah
Guy[1:00 A.M.]:  entertain me
KIM [1:01 A.M.]:  sorry im boring
KIM [1:01 A.M.]:  hmmmm 
Guy [1:02 A.M.]:  ...
Guy [1:06 A.M.]:  ?

The end. I predict we will NOT have a hang out. Let's see if he comes through. He's a wishy washy cutie with nice eyes.
Wonder if he will read this since we are Facebook friends.

Update: We did not hangout out!
~Disbeliever Disbelieving 24/7

The fear behind the "C" word

Why are men generally afraid of the big c word called "commitment"?
While reading my second bible yesterday, (Cosmopolitan) a magnificent point was brought up. When a relationship ends for me, I have a 2,000 girlfriend support system to run to. We talk about:
All the things the guy did wrong.
How I could do better.
What an ass the guy is!
We talk about basically everything! Nothing is off limits!

What does a guy have? Does a guy ever talk to another male about being upset over a girlfriend? Highly unlikely. Most guys macho it up. They are lacking my support system. Are they thinking, If I settle down and get dumped that would suck? Let me stick it in anything with a vagina? It is better to not get attached. I really don't know, but at least it is a semi explanation of why these men act the way they do.

Another misconception~
I'm 26! No, I'm not looking to get married!
Maybe that scares them as well. I know I'm technically at the marriage age. I have some married friends, but I'm definitely NOT looking for that type of commitment at this stage in my life!

So ladies and gents, what is the big deal about the "C" word?

"K" the Disbeliever Disbelieving 24/7

Cosmopolitan is my second bible

Yes, I read the magazine religiously and I believe 99% of it is true. I also believe guys should read it to clue themselves in on women.
It could teach them wonderful things!
Which brings me to an interesting article...
According to cosmo, (pg. 58 November edition).
"All smart-phone users are not created alike." Which type a guy has can hint at his personality... and past. Here is how the stats weigh in

iPHONE MEN                                                                 BLACKBERRY MEN

          40%             Broken up over a text message           25%

          35%             Broke up with a woman because        24%
                               she spent too much time on her
                               phone

          42%             Would be turned off by a woman        34%
                               with outdated gadgets

           10                 Average number of people they         8.1
                                slept with


Just a fun little poll! Of course I question the sample size used and validity of this little experiment. How do you sleep with .1 of a person? That is another question that needs an answer! Just another thing to add to the list~ Type of phone used.

~K Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

My Little Secret

    I don’t understand why guys keep me a secret. It’s shady and not only disrespectful to me, but to their girlfriends! I really liked this guy that I’ll call Shady. He was cute, smart, kinky, athletic, and we had a lot in common. He would be the first older guy that I’d date! I think he also liked me as evidenced by his flirtatious behavior, sexual comments, and butt smacking. This pattern has been going on for two years. I was waiting for him to make the move.

It was raining one night when Shady and I left the gym. He followed me to my car to give him a ride to his dorm. We sat in my car talking for over an hour. He probably wanted to see if I would make a move. He was poking me and stuff… the usual. I wish I could have just asked him what is going on, but I think guys should bring that up. I wasn’t sure if he had a girlfriend. By his actions, I did not think he had one. I tested him by asking if he would be my date to my cousin’s wedding. He said, “OK. I have to ask my mom if we are doing anything for graduation.” The wedding was the same day of graduation.  

I hung out with him once outside the gym for once at a bar with his friend and my friend. My friend and I arrived at the bar and sat down at their table. Shady completely ignored me and was macking it to some girl who he brought along. She didn’t show any interest in him. When she took her random bathroom trips, he asked his gym buddy Dave (I started to like him) if he thinks that she “wants a piece.” Dave just went along with it. Shady and the girl ended up exchanging numbers. She went home on her own and left early.

When she left, Shady finally saw that I was sitting in front of him. Hello! I noticed a difference between the way Shady interacted with that girl and me. With me, he was more himself. With her, he was more reserved and was doing the lame interview (boring). We had more fun when she left. Shady wanted to hang out again.

I was getting frustrated over his teasing. The attraction was there, but I was getting aggravated because nothing was happening! He wasn’t making moves. Now I know the reason of why it was all flirting, or lusting, as he nicely put it one day over barbells.

“I lust, not love.”

“That’s not good.”

“I know. That’s why I just settle for stability and be miserable.”

The clues were there, but I never saw them. I ignored them. For example, he never asked for my phone number.

Dave and I hung out a few times and Shady apparently got jealous. He called Dave on the phone and Dave let me talk to Shady. Shady did not know I was on the phone. Shady said, “Stop being a dick-“ I said, “Hello?” Shady asked who it is and then I asked who I am talking to (as if I did not hear him express jealousy). Shady said, “It’s your boyfriend.” Yay! I guess he’s single!

I did not see Shady for a while until graduation. He completely ignored me. I expected the usual greeting as I would guard myself from a butt smack and some raunchy comment, but all I got was “hi.” Dave was there and taking pictures of some girl posing for Shady! I bet that was his girlfriend. It was weird though because Shady and that girl were not interacting as much as I would expect a couple to do.

    The last time I saw Shady and Dave was probably a month after graduating. They were in the pool at the gym. Shady squinted his eyes and asked if that was me standing there. I joined their lane. He was all over me. His legs were wrapped around me and he tried to dunk me in the water. I told him to get off and he said, “You know you like me.” I said, “I can’t stand you.” I hate mind games! Then he wanted to catch up so we talked about what has happened since graduating. He got a job and now lives in NYC at some college. I doubt I’ll ever see him again.

I invited Dave to the same bar that we went to, along with my friend and her man. We had a good time and talked until almost 4 a.m. after the bar closed! I thought it went well and that we would hang out again. He and Shady are very similar, except Dave is a tad more respectful, but still talks dirty. Somehow Dave started to talk about Shady. Dave said that Shady’s girlfriend loves him to death, but that he asks stupid. Shady lives in his dorm and his girlfriend probably lives in New York, so they rarely see each other. Shady probably acts like a man slut because “what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her.” Apparently Shady picked out the ring that his girlfriend of six years wanted. Dave said that Shady is mainly with her because she is stable and has good job. Here’s to years of misery for him! He got what he wanted.

So the truth was out. It took Dave to make me realize that Shady is Shady! Shady couldn’t tell me. I was shocked. But it was all making sense. I just kept thinking that with all these years of flirting, raunchy comments, and butt smacking, that he had a girlfriend for six years and not once was her name mentioned!

I felt so bad for his girlfriend, but I also felt like crap. I really liked Shady and I thought there was something there. As he said, he lusted over me. Truly he does not love his girlfriend. If he did, he would not have acted so lewd toward me. I am appalled at how he cannot feel any guilt! The poor girl! Either they will get a divorce, or Shady will just deal with it for the stability. If only she knew…

I never heard from Dave since the day we hung out at the bar. He never responded to my texts asking to hang out. I think Shady told Dave that he cannot hang out or date me because I would find out that Shady had a girlfriend. They are really close friends and if Dave and I were dating, we would definitely hang out with Shady and his girlfriend. Shady would have to keep his girlfriend a secret by not inviting her out. That sounds like something that I have been through! Imagine if I acted as if I had no idea that Shady had a girlfriend!

This is the second time where I have been kept a secret by a guy. In this case, Shady’s girlfriend was the secret from me, and I was the secret from her. My other dating experience includes being nonexistent for almost one year! The age of these two guys doesn’t matter. Even though one was younger and the other was older, they both acted shady!

I don’t know why I seem to be cursed with being the secret. Am I too good to reveal? I hate being kept a secret!

Keep it real!

 ~Realist

Scored digits on the run

I was on my merry way running when some guy in a van pulled over and gave me his number! Smart man…I didn’t even have to stop for it! I saw this guy three times on my course. He was definitely following me. First he pulled over and asked if he can run with me. I hear that a lot and I always say yes, not taking them seriously. Then I see him like two minutes later on another street and he honked. Less than 30 seconds later he pulls into a gas station and handed me his number! He said to call him to go running in Garrett Mountain. I said that I run there a lot. He doesn’t look familiar though.

He sounds like an import! His name is Ever haha. I think he is Span. He’s kind of cute. He looks older, probably 30. He was driving some construction van. I like that he runs. By the looks of his arm hanging out the window, it appears that he works out.


   I give him props for being so persistent and for wanting to hang out with me, considering that I looked my ugliest! Maybe he doesn’t care what I look like. I think that’s a hard quality to find in a guy. I was so happy that he thought I looked good, when I really looked like a mess! Sweat mixed with rain is not attractive! However, if he can deal with me looking like that, then he will really like what he sees when I look decent!

This happened a little over a week ago and I have yet to call him. If I was interested, I probably would have called him by now. I am not sure if I am missing out though. The main reason why I haven’t called him is because I don’t want to start anything if I don’t find him attractive. Or maybe it's because I am just not that into him. But I did not even give him a chance! I guess I can always run away from him haha. Would running be a date? Sweating together and getting endorphins is hot.

Should I call him? Is this a sign? Am I losing out on a good guy if I don't call?

Keepin' it real,

  Realist

Facebook: the Second Life

Facebook is a trivial thing to add to the list that damages relationships. While it is a great way to reconnect and meet people (albeit many weirdoes), it is also a way to stay in touch with exs (a no-no!) Worrying about who my boyfriend is adding and talking to on Facebook is unnecessary. I know people who have broken up over stupid Facebook issues, or who had really bad arguments over who they added or regarding a certain picture (“You are too close to that girl!”). Girls should not have to find out what their boyfriend is doing by reading their statuses or find out that they went to a bar as seen on the tagged pictures. Girls should be able to trust that their boyfriend is not secret messaging and is not living a secret life on Facebook!

To solve this problem, boyfriends and girlfriends should NOT be Facebook friends. This way, the two of them do not have to worry about what they post. However, not being Facebook friends may be impossible if the couple were friends at first and then became an item. I still think that being Facebook friends should be avoided!

While I think it is best if couples are not Facebook friends, this allows either side to live a secret life. Luckily, some couples may not have to worry about this and are actually honest with each other. Unfortunately for me, I could not trust my then-boyfriend (for lack of a better word— but that is for another blog) as evidenced by his secret life on Facebook. I was not Facebook friends with him and I suspected that something was not right as indicated by his distant behavior. I snooped on my brother’s page to check his relationship status (they were friends). It said single! None of his statuses mentioned me and there were no pictures of us, but with other girls whom I have never met! Even though he mentioned them to me (and claimed that they knew about me), I was not allowed to meet them for some reason. He was living a secret life on Facebook, and I was the secret! I did not confront him because then he would find out that I was spying. I should have left right then. I learned though.

I learned that if I have the urge to snoop on Facebook to see what my boyfriend is doing, then that means he is shady. If I trusted him, there would have been no reason for me to suspect that something is awry.

Do you think couples should be Facebook friends? Do you spy on his or her page to “check up”? Do you think Facebook damages relationships? Have you ever had an argument over something Facebook related?

Keep it real!

~ Realist



I have included a song by my second favorite band Cavo from their debut album Bright Nights * Dark Days. I completely relate to this song and they must have written it for me haha. Unfortunately, I was the "little secret."


"My Little Secret"
I hope she doesn’t see
The lipstick stain on the edge of the wine glass
Hope that she can’t see it in my eyes

I hope she doesn’t notice
I’ve come home late every night this week
Trying to keep it together, it’s getting harder and harder each time

To keep this hidden away
I’m running out of things I can say

I can’t sleep from thinking bout you
And I can’t tell lies from the truth
And I can’t hide you like this for very much longer
And I don’t know which way to run
And I feel myself coming undone
And I don’t know how much longer I can keep it
My little secret

I hope she doesn’t notice
This look on my face from thinking bout you
Stories are getting harder for me to tell

And each time I try
To take one step away
I find myself crashing back into you
Taking this chance that I know now I shouldn’t be taken

I can’t sleep from thinking bout you
And I can’t tell lies from the truth
And I can’t hide you like this for very much longer
And I don’t know which way to run
And I feel myself coming undone
And I don’t know how much longer I can keep it
My little secret

Know that there will come a day, when it all comes falling down
I just can’t walk away
I find myself crashing back into you, taking this chance

I can’t sleep from thinking bout you
And I can’t tell lies from the truth
And I can’t hide you like this for very much longer
And I don’t know which way to run
And I feel myself coming undone
And I don’t know how much longer I can keep it
My little secret