Facebook: the Second Life

Facebook is a trivial thing to add to the list that damages relationships. While it is a great way to reconnect and meet people (albeit many weirdoes), it is also a way to stay in touch with exs (a no-no!) Worrying about who my boyfriend is adding and talking to on Facebook is unnecessary. I know people who have broken up over stupid Facebook issues, or who had really bad arguments over who they added or regarding a certain picture (“You are too close to that girl!”). Girls should not have to find out what their boyfriend is doing by reading their statuses or find out that they went to a bar as seen on the tagged pictures. Girls should be able to trust that their boyfriend is not secret messaging and is not living a secret life on Facebook!

To solve this problem, boyfriends and girlfriends should NOT be Facebook friends. This way, the two of them do not have to worry about what they post. However, not being Facebook friends may be impossible if the couple were friends at first and then became an item. I still think that being Facebook friends should be avoided!

While I think it is best if couples are not Facebook friends, this allows either side to live a secret life. Luckily, some couples may not have to worry about this and are actually honest with each other. Unfortunately for me, I could not trust my then-boyfriend (for lack of a better word— but that is for another blog) as evidenced by his secret life on Facebook. I was not Facebook friends with him and I suspected that something was not right as indicated by his distant behavior. I snooped on my brother’s page to check his relationship status (they were friends). It said single! None of his statuses mentioned me and there were no pictures of us, but with other girls whom I have never met! Even though he mentioned them to me (and claimed that they knew about me), I was not allowed to meet them for some reason. He was living a secret life on Facebook, and I was the secret! I did not confront him because then he would find out that I was spying. I should have left right then. I learned though.

I learned that if I have the urge to snoop on Facebook to see what my boyfriend is doing, then that means he is shady. If I trusted him, there would have been no reason for me to suspect that something is awry.

Do you think couples should be Facebook friends? Do you spy on his or her page to “check up”? Do you think Facebook damages relationships? Have you ever had an argument over something Facebook related?

Keep it real!

~ Realist



I have included a song by my second favorite band Cavo from their debut album Bright Nights * Dark Days. I completely relate to this song and they must have written it for me haha. Unfortunately, I was the "little secret."


"My Little Secret"
I hope she doesn’t see
The lipstick stain on the edge of the wine glass
Hope that she can’t see it in my eyes

I hope she doesn’t notice
I’ve come home late every night this week
Trying to keep it together, it’s getting harder and harder each time

To keep this hidden away
I’m running out of things I can say

I can’t sleep from thinking bout you
And I can’t tell lies from the truth
And I can’t hide you like this for very much longer
And I don’t know which way to run
And I feel myself coming undone
And I don’t know how much longer I can keep it
My little secret

I hope she doesn’t notice
This look on my face from thinking bout you
Stories are getting harder for me to tell

And each time I try
To take one step away
I find myself crashing back into you
Taking this chance that I know now I shouldn’t be taken

I can’t sleep from thinking bout you
And I can’t tell lies from the truth
And I can’t hide you like this for very much longer
And I don’t know which way to run
And I feel myself coming undone
And I don’t know how much longer I can keep it
My little secret

Know that there will come a day, when it all comes falling down
I just can’t walk away
I find myself crashing back into you, taking this chance

I can’t sleep from thinking bout you
And I can’t tell lies from the truth
And I can’t hide you like this for very much longer
And I don’t know which way to run
And I feel myself coming undone
And I don’t know how much longer I can keep it
My little secret