I LOVE this SONG!

Trying to break up with a guy? Just send him the link to this song. It is very empowering! I think it is the breakup jam. Play it while going to dump his ass!

http://youtu.be/e4jckzKbsf8

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Start Treating them like $hit!

Observation: Ever notice how guys you don't really like are all about you? In the meantime, the guys you do like aren't giving you the time of day!!!! This is because they are about the game ladies.
So treat them all like utter crap and they will like you!
They want the thrill of the chase!

Also if the guy you want now is in some type of relationship don't worry! Your time will come! Most relationships don't work out!
This is all according to the stats~ Don't blame me!!!

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Working out!

Here is a snippet of convo that took place yesterday at the gym between Realist and Disbeliever:

Disbeliever: I don't know how your coworker thinks guys are hot at this gym. She must have really low standards.
Realist: Yeah, I can't even find a semi-decent guy here...well maybe that one over there in gray on the treadmill.
Disbeliever: Oh shit I "dated" that guy. I'm out of here!

Scene...

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

All flash! No cash!

So I met this guy over the weekend. It was super last minute type of thing!We have been talking. It was time for the meet. I had no Saturday night plans, so I said F-it.. let's meet. He came up with the idea to meet for coffee. I was impressed it wasn't a bar. He said I would never pick that as a first initial meeting spot. We talked for two hours. Over these two hours we talked a lot about: family, school, work, life, religion, dogs, trips, money, money, money, money, money... The money part was just him! At first I thought ~wow~ ok~ not in a good way. I thought maybe he is just proud of what he does, or came into new found money. Everything had a price tag. So very annoying. "My tenant pays for $2,500 for the mortgage and my rent is $500. I should have looked at this place in Hoboken today. I want to rent my other apartment out. I wound up looking at this place today. It was 450,000. I was like WOW! Not at the price tags of these things that he can afford, just "wow" at the fact at naming the price of everything.

Realist thought he was just trying to impress me. At first I thought that is what it was too. Saturday ended. We "hugged" goodbye and said we would see each other soon. I really thought we would at the time. Seemed genuine... I seemed genuine... I was genuine at the time. We have similar interests including working out, running, and skiing/snowboarding. Although, this obviously isn't enough to keep a relationship together. It is a good start to one. It is at least good enough for a second date! I didn't completely dismiss the guy at this point.

We talked Sunday. He wanted to do a dinner that day. On Saturday night he brought it up. I never got in touch about it. That seemed toooo much tooo soon. He also wanted to come to yoga at my gym. He was willing to make time for me, even though he claims to be super busy. All positives. He also taught me some things I didn't know about Mormons.. The church takes care of them for awhile if they are down on their luck. Different random facts like that. Interesting enough to hold my attention. Although all this info can be found on Google!

So Saturday goes by and we end in a hug.. I'll see you blah blah blah
Sunday, still talking. On Monday, we were talking and I wound up telling him that I'm not looking for a quick bang. He was like no way! He said he didn't want that either.. Blah Blah Blah... Haven't heard from him since.

The end. How do I feel about this? Completely fine. He annoyed me anyways. I think everyone should be bluntly honest about what they want up front. Both parties need to know, so no one's feelings get hurt. Everyone needs to be on the same page. 

He definitely was on a different page then me. Maybe a different chapter. The cash factor was a way to "pay" me for the bangs I believe.Why else flash around your cash...

Oh well I shall remain headache free! Feels good!

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Snowboarders~Skiers

Why do they look so dirty to me?
What a disappointment!!!! They all need showers, haircuts and deodorant.

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Guy #1 and Guy #2

My "Guy" convos of today:
Guy #1: Want to go out for drinks this weekend?
Me: Where?
Guy#1: Anywhere you're the boss.
Me: I don't think that is a good idea.
Guy#1: Ok I understand

HaHa what a J-E-R-K... Didn't even begin to mention a second idea. Obviously just wants ass.
These types of people need to stop contacting me permanently!

Guy#2
Guy#2: What are you looking for? Friends? Boyfriend? Fling?
Me: Boyfriend! No flings or friends with benefits. How about yourself?
Guy#2: Just friends. If friends become girlfriends that's cool!
Me: Looking for a girlfriend that is so strange. You kind of just find one.
Guy#2: Yep

What a freaken DUD! A least he cared enough to ask what I was looking for!!!
That made me really happy when he asked the question. Now he is quiet. Just friends. He really means FWB!

There you have it! Males decoded 101!

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

What Really Grinds My Gears

You know what really grinds my gears...
Texting. It really grinds my gears. It never amounts to anything ever. It is just a method to string you along. If a guy does not make the effort to see you ladies he does not like you. He is just not that into you.

You know what really grinds my gears.
Guys sending me pictures of themselves. Clothes or without clothes.
Is that supposed to make me want to jump in my car ASAP?
Should I want to rip off your clothes. No.

You know what really grinds my gears...
People telling me I'm not looking in the right spots for guys. Guys are everywhere! It also bothers me when they don't give me a suggestion as where I should look. Okay apparently your ass has the answer, so you tell me!
Tell me where to go.

You know what really grinds my gears...
Cheap men. You're the guy. You should pay. I didn't always think this way. This 73-year old talked my ear off at the gym last week. She said my standards are acceptable. She also said never make the move to pay. If that is the case go out with your girlfriends instead.

You know what really grinds my gears...
Girls that can't keep their legs closed. The second the "love" aspect left sex is the time everyone started having problems with relationships.

You know what else grinds my gears...
F~A~C~E~B~O~O~K Stop poking and secret messaging.
Put it on my main wall.

You know what else really grinds my gears...
People that are not happy with who they are with. Be single if you do not want a relationship instead of complaining about your significant other, or cheating.

That is just some of what grinds my gears.

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

No "I'm sorry" here...

~A-T-T-E-N-T-I-O-N~

There is nothing wrong with telling a guy exactly how it is!!
I'm a B-O-O-M in your face type person. It is great because I say exactly what's on my mind. Nothing is censored. It's my personality type. I can not change it and would never want to. I was never left wondering how a guy was feeling, or what he was thinking. I ask it flat out. I do not get embarrassed easily at all.
Take it or leave it.

Bye-bye to you if:

If I'm sitting bored. You're out!
If you're cheap.You're out!
If you're conversation skills suck. You're out!
If you're not friendly. You're out!
If you smell bad. You're out!
If you drink tooo much. You're out!
If you're a wack ass. You're out!
If you smoke anything. You're out!
If your a know-it-all. You're out!
If you can't talk feelings. You're out!
& much much more!

No better day than today boys. Wake up and become MEN!
I'm not looking for a clam.
I'm not looking for a texting pen pal.
I'm look for a S~I~N~G~L~E man who can handle honesty and be open.

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Deeper confession

This weekend Y was actually nice.  Nice, in that he actually didn't avoid me like I was a horrible person who had done something horrible to him, but instead actually asked me how I was feeling after the race.  That was it.


I know that's all I ever really asked for--I just wished he could treat me like a teammate again.  And all weekend I was relieved, and happy that maybe finally the weirdness would go away and it wouldn't be painfully uncomfortable to be around each other.


But today... well, the pangs came back.  You know, the ones we never will admit that we get, but they do resurface from time to time when we realize that things really aren't that much better now than they were in the past, despite any efforts we've made to pick ourselves up or find happiness somewhere else.  They'll go away again soon, but for right now... damnit.


Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Confession, just because there isn't much else to post about

Last night I had a dream about Spiderman from work.  We were going on a date, but there was a bunch of stuff in his car, so I had to share a seat with him.  For a moment it was kind of hot, but the dream moved on.  Not much else happened in the dream--I guess the date was kind of boring, but there was something about him.  I guess that's kind of like real life--he's not super exciting, or tremendously good-looking or anything, but there's just something oddly appealing about him.  I wouldn't go out of my way to ask him out, but if he asked me out, I would accept.  Make sense?  The dream was G-rated, but when I saw him this morning, I still felt all embarrassed, as if he could somehow know that he had crept into my subconscious.

Ever happen to you?  Anyone?  Buehler?  Just me?  All right, then.

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Relationship "Pacing"

A friend of mine gave me the idea for this post.  Obviously we all have different "paces" for our romantic relationships. That is especially the case with this friend and me, although I think that's what makes our friendship interesting--our different perspectives help us to see different ways to look at things, and they always make for interesting stories to share with each other.  Anyway, what she brought up today is there are different layers to the relationship "pace."  We may also have very different opinions about how quickly to dive into the physical aspect of dating, how quickly to move our relationship onto Facebook, and how quickly to become exclusive, or "serious," or whatever you want to call it.  And so!  I think this calls for a poll!  Or... a couple of polls! Vote, enjoy, and tell your friends to do the same!





Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Mumble Jumble

My Israeli friend is out! Her question to me is: "Why are American guys such losers?" I have no idea how to answer this question. If someone has the answer to this please let me know. It is definitely true!
Can't even fight that remark for the good of the country!
If I were to go though my dating history I have the record of finding the worst guys possible. Is that why I have been single for over the past 2 years? Possibly YES! Her advice to me is to expand my circles. I really have to broaden my horizon. I'm around the same people a lot of the times.
What should I do to find fresh meat? Nooo I don't actively seek out men..
Just tired of the same places and types of guys.

A piece of fruit made the skeptic happy! Men it is time to really step it up here. Why should a girl be so in shock to receive a piece of fruit? It is a nice gesture, but was he unloading lunch? Just trying to be nice? Is there another reason? Very sly move. He has to be more direct, although it is a work situation. Is he testing the waters? After all, it was just a piece of fruit.


My ideas on facebook... I'll post to people.. Guess what? It means absolutely nothing! It is just facebook.... Same goes for online, texting, and instant messaging. I'm talking to a lot of people this way. Your talking to a lot of people this way too. It is not a personal way of communication. The only personal way of communication is face to face time. Everything else doesn't matter. To summarize: I mean nothing by my facebook, instant messages, and texting comments!!!

Girls he is just not that into you if... he doesn't ask you out after a month.
I will give a guy a month for exclusive status. That's it... To string a person along is never sexy and neither is checking up on them. If a guy is truly interested he would jump at the chance to be with you. Even if he worked 24 hours a day 7 days a week. He would find the time. Otherwise, He is Just Not That Into You. (Amazing book. Everyone should read it males/females. Doesn't matter!)

I went on a date with this guy.. He said I really want to make this work with you blah blah blah... Called and texted... I just wasn't that into you... Sorry you had the world's worst first date idea ever. I won't post it here, but it was terrible! I still can't get over that terrible date! Ask me for details if your curious.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE gay guys! I find them super attractive. I realize I never stand a chance. They care about style and have such a great personality.I can get a tattoo of a penis on my vagina. Will it be enough for a gay male? Joking people. Yes, this is a complete generalization, but guess what....I'm writing and your reading!

Livingsocial or group on need to offer dating 101 classes.
I can dissect what you guys are doing wrong! Until then wise up, and get a clue.

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

On the bright (orange) side...

Spiderman gave me an orange on his way out today (I call him that because a co-worker once thought he looked a little like Tobey Maguire from the 2002 movie.  I don't see it, but I like the nickname).  I found this incredibly sweet!  My level of interest in this guy goes up and down--I really know very little about him, but he's very nice and friendly, and one of the few people at work who actually came to introduce himself to me (people never do this).  I guess niceness really makes a huge difference with me, at least at first.

Maybe he was just unloading the leftovers of his lunch.  But I found it very sweet.  Happy Friday!

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Hmm, if you creep up on me in the parking lot, I might have to whip out my pepper spray.

They say that you should "stop looking for a man and just do the things you love."  They also say that you need to look no further than the things you do every day to meet people and can find men everywhere.

But what if the things I love are inherently... well, girly? I've been thinking about extra-curricular activities I could do to have some fun and get out of the house once in a while, and the best ideas I have (in terms of things I love) are things like art classes, cooking classes, dance, etc.  Although I will have an awesome time, something tells me I'm not going to meet all sorts of men doing these things.

Unless they share a parking lot with a Gold's Gym or a Hooters or something.  I'm just sayin.'

Seriously, where are you dudes hanging out all the time?  Perhaps we can find a middle ground somewhere between the cooking school and Hooters.  What would that be...

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Happy 38th Anniversary to my parents!!!

Their longest relationship 38 years. Mine 38 months!
Give or take a few months...

How do you stand someone for 38 years? WOW!!!!!!
I <3 this blog! I was thinking about "things" today based off this blog:
The Perils of Urban Courtship

In response to their Oct. 19 article, never mention exs to someone you're dating ever! Usually the guy never asks. If you are to mention former guys at all only count boyfriends. What a sleazeball to keep boasting about past girlfriends and sexual performance. Insecurity is never hot!
I hate guys that fish for compliments or feel the need to brag about anything. This rule applies to both sexes in fact.

In response to the Oct. 20 article, a guy who mentions sex on the first date should not get the Facebook friend add! What is the point? He sounds like a sleezebucket.
Sleazier than a car dealer at a dealership.

These girls' dates are always so unbelievable. Maybe they should read "Did This Really Happen?!" I think as their next excuse for getting out of a date, they should say they want a baby ASAP. Ask if they know of a good sperm bank. I would love to read about how that date goes!

Should I date more? My last date was soooo long ago. I don't even remember.
I had hang outs, but no dates :( I'd love for a guy to call (the proper way) to schedule a date. However, they do not so they are just not that into me.

Where should I look for men? Guys are everywhere!
I don't want a drunk from the bar.
Guys at the gym are way too into their workouts.
I need a fresh idea! Dating sites are out!


<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Perspective

Dating is tough these days.  The older a girl gets, the more difficult it is to wade through the pool of male candidates.  It seems like anyone who is still single after a certain age is single for a reason, and it's more difficult to find quality candidates.  This, of course, immediately draws one to wonder why she herself is still single, and what is her flaw....  but she tries not to dwell on that too much.

It's no wonder my grandmother worries sometimes that I'm not married yet.  The average age of marriage has risen greatly in the last several decades, so for someone like her who may have gotten married shortly after high school, I've already reached old-maid status at my age, and am even above the average for today's standards.

Still, I like to remember that no matter how tough things are now, I am still better off than if I had been a single girl back when my grandmother was young.  To illustrate that, I'd like to share the following link and thank my good graces that despite all the hell that dating sometimes is, I do not have to also worry about being the perfect Stepford pinup.  Enjoy.

1938 Tips for Single Ladies

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Red.Yellow.Green. Light

My idea.
There should be a 5k race around Valentine's day with this theme.
Instead of the usual running shirt you get a red, yellow, or green shirt.

Red shirts- Taken.. Girlfriend/boyfriend, Married...Etc

Yellow shirt- The its "complicate types" also known as "avoid like the plague."

Green- $-i-n-g-l-e and ready to mingle.

Ahhh this idea is fresh...
This idea is hip! I like it!

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Do Not Give the Benefit of the Doubt

My mother taught me that concept. I will not be passing that idea on to anyone!
I decided to go against this grain at 26 years old. No more "benefit of the doubts."  I repeat! Ladies DO NOT give any guy the benefit of the doubt! It is a waste of time! You only get one chance to make a first impression.
If you blow it, it is blown forever!


Put work into first date ideas!
I feel like it is gotten down to the point where I have to ask the guy "What are we doing? Where are we going? Are you sure this will actually happen? Will you show? How late are you running? Will I really be eating food? At what place will this happen? Will you come up with some type of excuse?"
I even got the excuse two years ago of, "my mother is in the hospital."
I asked about his mother and he forgot his lie! That is another story though...

So back to dates. I used to do all the planning. I have to cut back on all the planning. Especially for the first date! I even picked up guys before. B~I~G mistake! I always wind up feeling like the man. Last time I checked I did not have a penis! It is getting bad. I'll try on my next date to have the guy plan the first one.
I will give this one more shot. If it sucks again I'll go back to the planning.

I had a great time dating myself at the Olive Garden. Maybe I should go back there? Do they still have the never ending pasta bowl? Another Disbeliever rule is: never let the guy pick you up.

No way not for a first date! You take your car. I'll take mine. I need my get away vehicle!
It has really gotten that bad in the dating word.  I'm completely comfortable that you go your way at the end of the date and I will go mine.

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Single girl rant, aka Throw Me a Bone!

In what I could refer to as a "sister" blog, I saw this entry and was inspired to write an entry of my own.  I guess you could say it hit a nerve.

A lot of prejudice exists in our society today, and a lot of it has been there since the beginning of time.  We constantly debate the equal treatment for different races, genders, and sexual orientation.  But maybe it's about time someone spoke up for the single people.

Our society was built such that marriage is the ultimate goal.  Very recently this has been shifting, with a higher divorce rate inspiring more people to cohabitate and/or put off marriage.  But subtle signs are everywhere suggesting that you somehow lead a less important life if you are single.  Whenever I go anywhere, people give me pitiful looks because I am by myself.  My married friends don't talk to me anymore, partly because they're busy with their kids, but also let's face it--they don't know how to relate to me anymore.  It's like I'm a crazy alien party child who wanted to ditch "normal" things like a husband and children in favor of getting trashed every night.  My family asks me every time I see them if I'm seeing anyone, or when am I ever going to get married, yet very little celebration occurred when I completed my masters degree and got a job out of state.  In fact, the things that are traditionally celebrated in life are marriages and babies.  Why don't I get to create a gift registry for finishing grad school, or for getting an apartment by myself?  If I never get married, I will have had to pay for everything I have in my apartment with no assistance through registering for gifts of things like sheets and dishes and kitchen utensils.  This occurred to me just yesterday when I realized I still had the old, shitty knives I got out of college, assuming I would upgrade to good knives when I got married.  I guess it's time to screw that idea--I need new knives now.

And how about those finances?  If I do anything I want to do, I have to pay more (I pay for my rent and all utilities, student loans, etc. on a single salary, I don't get to split a hotel room when I travel, etc.). If I want smaller servings of food at the grocery store so that I can make a meal for myself that I won't have to eat for an entire week, I have to pay a premium.  I can never get all the good deals for meals or vacations or movies or whatever "for two" (and believe me--I have asked if the deal still applies "for one."  It doesn't.).  I have to do all the chores myself that a married couple might split--pay bills, clean the apartment, maintain the car, kill the scary-looking bugs, make annoying phone calls to the cable company that I'd love to pass off on someone else, etc.  And the salt on the wound is, married couples, even the ones with two incomes, get a tax break.  Not me.

I never wanted to be a bitchy single person.  And I'm not one of those people who says, "rah rah!  I'm single because that's what I want, and I love it!"  Truth is, I would love nothing more than to have a family of my own.  But why should I be punished for not being able to get what I want out of life?  Why do I need to be reminded that not only do I have to finacially support myself, bail out my own ass when I get into trouble, and deal with problems myself instead of having a significant other to lean on, but also get pity from those around me like I've somehow failed in life?  Because I wasn't lucky enough thus far to have met the perfect man of my dreams, why do I also have to be subtly chastised in life?  I swear I am not bitter.  It's just that those little subtle jabs pushing me into marriage over the course of thirty years start to wear on my nerves.

I am not a poor lost soul who has no direction in life.  I am not a wild party girl who just wants to get trashed every night.  I am not dependant on having someone else and incapable of being alone.  And I am not a sub-class citizen just because I haven't found love yet.  I am just a normal person who is trying to find happiness in life, just like everyone else.  I will never list my "status" on Facebook as "single" because that does not define who I am.  It would just be nice if the universe would throw a single girl a bone every now and then.

No pun intended in that last line.  I swear.

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Hi, my name is totally clueless, nice to meet you.

It had been an early morning, up at 5:30am to brave the cold and rain to volunteer at a road race.  Eventually the sun came up to reveal a nice Fall day--brisk, crisp, and bright.  I checked runners in, sipped coffee, and enjoyed the pretty (albeit bleary-eyed) race environment.  When the race eventually was underway, I positioned myself at my station at the finish line to cheer for the runners and instruct them to stay in order and move through the chute.

While standing there waiting for the first runner to arrive, I saw Mr. Mysterious standing on the side.  Who was he?  He wasn't part of our running club, and he didn't appear to be one of the cops, and definitely wasn't one of the city councilmen.  He was just a young guy wearing track pants and a jacket, watching the race.  Hellooooooo, man of mystery, you are really cute.... I kept peeking at him, and when I saw him look up my direction, my eyes would dart away.  Then I'd peek back, he'd look up, and I'd look away.  This happened a few times before I told myself I may be borderline creepy and maybe I should stop it.

Then he walked over.  RIGHT next to me.  Like, right in my personal space.  Like, if I wasn't hugely attracted to him, I would have been really creeped out and actually taken a step to the side (you all know someone who has gotten that close).  But with this guy... I liked it.  For a while, he just stood there, watching the race.  So I just kept doing my thing.  Runners started coming in.  I cheered.  I instructed.  I high-fived all the little kids, and some of the older ones.  He made a joke about a friend's son running in clogs.  He laughed and smiled.  Was he talking to me?  I melted a little inside.

He walked away.  DAMNIT!  Okay, be cool.  Keep cheering, runners keep coming in.  I kept watch out of the corner of my eye.  He came back.  He started talking to the girl who was logging the runners' finish times, who was sitting right in front of me at the finish line.  My mind was processing.  Ah yes, they were running the timing system?  Were they some kind of officials?  Who were they?  Were they a couple?  Was he just standing next to me because she was sitting right in front of me?  Hmmm....

Then the race was over.  I got swept up with talking to my running club peeps.  I saw him take down the posts of the finish chute. Yes, he was working/volunteering in some capacity with the timing system.  He does races.  Who was he?

He and the other two women running the race timing stayed off to the side while the awards were given out.  Then soon after, they hopped in a car and were gone.  I saw my opportunity disappear into the wind like mist from a spray bottle.  Was there something?  Did I imagine it?  Why was I such an idiot?  So many things came to mind that I could have said--hi, my name is ---, so, do you ever run any of these races? do you run the timing for a lot of races? so was this an early morning for you, too? aren't those little kids cute?  ANYthing.  Why do I only think of these things an hour after it's too late?

*headsmack* I am such an idiot.

This may be a chronic condition.  Sometimes I hope I'll snap out of it, but sometimes I also like to think that the right guy will find a way over that hurdle and make the conversation happen anyway.  Of course, fate would be greatly aided if I could just get over myself.

*sigh*

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Have you been on a date lately?

Dates are a requirement! I'm not looking for million dollar dates, but I'm looking for SOMETHING. Put some thought into it to show you care!

~What is NOT a date?~

1. Drinks: NEVER count as a "date" ever!!!!!
A guy is just trying to get you "loose as a goose" to get in your pants.

2. Coffee: It's a cup of coffee. It's drink status minus the buzz.
Unless, you have mulitiple coffees then you might be caffeine buzzed.

3. Movies: You're not even talking!

Although good conversation can develop with these three opitions.
I will never count them as dates.

~D~A~T~E~S~

1. A walk in the park: It is an activity! You both are doing something "active" which does not take place in a bedroom! Checkmark for "yes" this is a date!

2. Dinner: Dinner is always a date unless it is a first meeting.

3. A dog introduction: You introduce your dog to his.
Now that is a sign things are getting serious.

4. Running in the park: I don't care if he sees me "sweaty" and "gross." Ladies, if he does not accept you at  your "worst" then he doesn't deserve to see you at your best. The winded look is hot and in for the fall season!

Still questioning what is a date and what is not?
Secret message me! I'll tell it like it is!!!

Then again, guys, you can make some type of plan and conclude with the words "it's a date." That will completely take the questioning out of the game even if you go for coffee.

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Boy I want to take you out~ For the ladies

I want to take you to someplace romantic.
You can order anything you want off the menu. Let's really have a good time.
You can relax and really unwind tonight...

Your ASS is going to F~R~I~E~N~D~L~Y~S!!!!!!

Ladies, here is your way to break up without ever having to say a word.
Here are the steps to breaking up via Friendly's restaurants.

Step 1. Baby, I want to surprise you tonight. It will be the ultimate surprise. Really talk the place up. Make him think he is going to Ruth Chris or the Charterhouse.

Step 2. Blindfold him while driving to Friendly's.

Step 3. Enter parking lot. Remove blindfold. Take a picture of his reaction.

Step 4. Walk in...Table for two. Ask to sit around a lot of kids. They add to the ambience.

Step 5. Encourage him to order the steak since he was thinking Charterhouse or Ruth Chris. HaHa

Step 6. After eating, encourage dessert! Go all out as your parting gift to him!

Step 7. Drive him back to his place. Drop him off with a handshake and say...

Let's keep this f.r.i.e.n.d.l.y.
Now girls, try this out next time and please tell us how it works for you

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

F- You, Facebook

Facebook seems to keep evolving.  It also seems to keep wanting to rub my failed relationships in my face.

Not long after Y and I broke up was about the time Facebook's big thing was to suggest getting back in touch with friends you haven't contacted in a while.  Remember that?  The friend's picture would appear in the corner and Facebook would tell you to send them a message.  It kept telling me I should get back in touch with my ex.  F- you.

Now, Facebook's big thing is to remind you of what you posted at this time one or two years ago.  I don't normally like to post personal details on Facebook, so normally this wouldn't be an issue, but at the time I was so happy with my new relationship I couldn't keep it to myself.  So Facebook reminded me of that the other day.  F- you.

What other ways will Facebook come up with to rub my face in the things that didn't work out?  F-ing F-book.

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Dear Skeptic

Dear Skeptic,

I'm writing to encourage you to get rid of online dating ASAP!

This is a service you do not need!
Your beautiful, intelligent, athletic, and much much more!!!

These guys seriously all have something wrong with them. The following are types of men you can encounter off an online dating site: super clingy, not knowing how to communicate, not caring about the other person, looking for the quick bang, no personality, nothing worth talking about, or worse like living in their mama's basement.

Once I told an onliner that I was going running and would talk to him later. Within an hour time he texted me. Called me. Called me again leaving a nasty message that I'm avoiding him. I called him back flipping out calling him a psycho and to loose my number! A.S.A.P! He said sorry I thought you were avoiding me.
I said still lose my number, psycho! HaHa That was the end of that one.

No need to strech these dates out to four dates! One date and that is it! You know when someone is right for you! Go with your inital gut!

It is never wrong!

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

~F~O~R~G~I~V~E~N

"Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive?
As many as seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I say to you not seven times but seventy-seven times."

I LOVE it! This is straight from the gospel. Matthew 18:21-35
How does the gospel fit in with a dating blog?
Give me a hot minute to tie it all in.

I  have forgiven all past boyfriends and don't hold any grudges.
Does that mean I want to talk to them again? No way! The gospel just says to forgive! Not that any contact is required! Woot Woot for that one!

I always seem to reflect on the losers around my birthday (September 17.) I dated a classic birthday forgetter. We were on and off for two years. The first year he "forgot my birthday." I got rid of him for it! I even reminded him! We got back together around February. He forgot my birthday AGAIN! For his birthday, as part of his gift I bought him a planner!!!! Unbelievable!!!!
Was that just a way to break up? I should have bought him a set of balls then instead of the planner.

To the others: All is F~O~R~G~I~V~E~N
Now erase my number and or email address and call it a day...

Thank You...
<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Beginning, Middle, and End

I think each person you date helps you in some way.  You learn a little more about yourself, what you want, how to deal with different types of people.  Or maybe you just have a little fun for a while.  I'm not yet sure what will have gotten out of dating EF in the long term, but for right now I can chalk it up as another experience.

I met EF online.  I suggested meeting right away, because I hate all that online dating emailing BS.  Our schedules didn't align for several days, so we ended up texting and talking on the phone for a few days before we met.  I saw potential.  First date was dinner at a Thai place (which was excellent!  added it to my list...), and then drinks.  I thought he was easy to talk to.  Potential.  So I agreed to go out again.  Second date was sushi (also excellent...), and drinks again.  By this time I wasn't sure.  In between the dates was more texting and talking, and he started talking about how much he liked me, and probing me for what I felt about him.  With the constant contact and the too-soon affection, I was feeling a little smothered.  And beyond all that, I just didn't know how I felt about him.  I still liked talking to him, and I had a good time, but I wasn't looking forward to seeing him.  I don't expect things to be all swoony or anything, but shouldn't I at least want to see him?  I was kind of apathetic.  Still, I agreed to another date.  I felt it would only be fair to give him one more shot. 

Third date was a trip to the shore.  I brought bagels for the road.  We staked out a spot on the beach, walked along the shore, made out a little with waves crashing against our legs (okay, maybe a little unfair, I know, but I was willing to go for a test drive)--it was very romantic.  But... it was purely circumstantial.  I still just wasn't feeling it.  Sitting on the beach, I just wanted to lay around and enjoy the atmosphere and take in the lovely sun and wind, and maybe talk--I thought it was a great opportunity to keep getting to know each other.  But he kept trying to cuddle me and make out.  I was like, dude, there are families around...  I don't mind a kiss in a semi-private area, but keep it PG, please.  That's my rule about PDA's--keep it PG.  I'm not going to roll around in the sand half naked with you in front of a bunch of children.  I didn't really want to, anyway.  Anyway, I was definitely feeling suffocated.  I was glad when it started to look cloudy with impending rain, so I suggested we leave.  After a quick bowl of soup at a local pub, we drove back north and I went home.

After that, I was pretty sure I was done.  Problem was, I became really wimpy about breaking it off.  I hate doing that, and to be honest, I'm usually the dumpee, so it isn't something I've had to do very often.  That week I got really busy at work and had a couple of 12-hour days, so when he suggested that he make me dinner, I caved.  The mistake I made was letting him come over to my place.  If I had gone to his place, I could have left whenever I wanted.  But if he came to my place... he would linger.  *yawn*, I went.  *yawn yawn*  He was still there.  *yawn zzzzzz* he was still there.  I had to practically play dead before he finally said, "you should go to bed--I'll go home now."  I didn't want to be rude, but finally!  Yes, please leave!

I just had to build up the courage to rip the bandaid off.  Rip it!  I avoided him for a few days, until finally he texted me, asking if I wanted to get together on Friday.  I replied back that I didn't think it was a good idea.  I wanted the feelings to be there, but they just weren't.  It wouldn't be fair.  I'm sorry.  *rip*

I feel like a big jerk for doing it over text.  But I have to remind myself that it was only 4 dates.  This guy was practically composing our wedding invitations.  I'll feel like a jerk for a while, but I really just have to move past this.

On to the next, I guess.  *sigh*  I really hate dating.

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

'Cause you're hot and you're cold

A friend (a guy, FYI) gave me a good line for ending a budding relationship:  "I really wanted the feelings to be there, but they just aren't."  Sounds like a new way to say "It's not you, it's me."  I like it.  I don't love breaking up with anyone, but I can honestly say that.

In other news, smacktalk about sports (in this particular case, college football) is an excellent way to flirt.

I promise I'll write more about all this once the dust settles.


Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

My former friend's Ex Mr. Halfaster

Dear Mr. Halfaster,

When I ran into you coming home from NYC that day, that was all the catching up I was looking for.

I don't want to go for wings. Don't want to go for ice cream.
Don't care to hear songs. Don't want to go for coffee.
Don't want to talk about running. Don't want to go to bars.
I just don't want to be reminded of past issues.
Is there anything wrong with that? Nope. Not at all!
Here's to hoping you read this!!!

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Cosmopolitian: September Edition

Dear Cosmo,

We are breaking up! I'm now getting Self.
Used- to- be- Love,
The Disbeliever

P.S. Postal workers: Please loose my Cosmo magazines over my paychecks...
Thank you!

Some Glee girl is on the cover. I don't like the show at all. Don't know the girl!

Some highlights are: "How He Knows You're The One" (p. 67) What that hottie Blake Shelton is looking for in a woman? He his BFF; you stick to your guns; you chill at his turf; you flaunt your talent; you don't overtalk; you bond with his boys; and your happy hanging out at home.
Blake Shelton! I'm here waiting for you! Too bad you're married! Bummer :(

"101 Things About Men" (p. 85) I wish I could just post this hot ass guy's picture. WOW!
27% of men NEVER taken nude pictures of themselfs. Let's get on that boys!

"Found: Your Future Boyfriend" (p. 87) Lighting and exterior painting. Attend a workshop at Home Depot. According to the store, more men attend these workshops than women. I was thinking about going. Of course I'd write a blog on it.

"Are Some Guys Just Not Wired to Marry" (p.170) Apparently there is some type of "gene" that is linked to men who aren't down with the idea of getting hitched. How can a gene be linked to a decision? I don't get it!
That is not possible. Nor is it scientific!

Over this magazine!

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Girl's Night Facebook Talk

Are these guys serious with their pathetic actions?
Then I realize, YES they are! I'm happy to write this blog. I hope it helps some of you guys out!!!! Onto the topic of FACEBOOK~

I have to share a story I heard last night from a girl friend. I hope she doesn't mind, but then again she only reads this blog once every four months! Step it up girl! Just joking! Read more! So here is her story:

This all happened on "The Facebook."
Random highschool guy from class of 2003: Hey how have you been? I haven't heard from you in ages. Let's catch up sometime over drinks or something!
Friend: Hey good to hear from you. I moved out of the state and working in a (insert state here.)
She was thinking obviously this guy didn't even read my profile!
Random Hghschool Gy class of 2003: That is great news! I moved too and got a job in the city. I do computer work. I was working on cartoon characters animation. It led me to drink. I started to develop a drinking problems. Thankfully it is much better now!

* My friend said that type of response will not get validated with a response back from her! Don't blame you, girl!

Is that really the type of impression you want to leave on someone after 10 years? Really? HaHa! It's just too funny not to post!

My problems with Facebook: Random pokes! Random messages and comments left. It just annoys me! I had a guy only randomly message me at one point. He never asked for my phone number!

I don't think people dating should be Facebook friends either. DEFRIEND! My Facebook goes back to 2007! Your sense of false knowing me can go all the way back to 2007. It's just not right! Let's get to know each other the old fashioned way. Let's DATE!

What else do I hate about Facebook?

I hate it when guys say, "Hey call me!" Guess what? You have my number!
What is that?

 Other news... I WILL not renew my Cosmo subscription... I'll do the recap of that next! I'm over it and getting Self now.
How much can a girl read about the same stuff over and over again?

Do you think guys are reading 100 ways to get naked now? No, they are not! They are just getting naked now instead of reading about it!

Here is an article I read off the Cosmo website:

How to tell if a guy really likes you:

• You hear from him between the hours of 12 p.m.-5 p.m.
• He emails (Your his escape while he is "working").
• He will take you to lunch.

He is just not that into you if:

• You're going to bars near his house
• You hear from him after 11 p.m.
• He calls you super sloshed looking to see you

I will now be getting my Cosmo information off the Web site.

Bye bye, Magazine.

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Cosmo Quiz I took!

• Are you:
  
  Male
  Female
• Are you:
  
  Under 18
  31-35
  18-25
  36-40
  26-30
  Over 40
• What's the #1 trait you look for in a guy?
  Sense of humor!
• What's your favorite sex position?
• Depends on what the guy your boinking is packing!
• Which flick in theaters now is the best date movie?
• I sadly don't even know what is in movies now, but comedy always wins for me
• Which new song do you most want to get busy to?
• Kelly Rowland ~ Motivation
• How many dates do you go on before you have sex?
• I need a relationship for sex! I don't play!
• What pet name (i.e. baby) do you like to be called?
• I have a pet name for everyone depending on who it is
• What clothing item should all guys throw out?
• Tighty whities
• In 20 words or less, what's the best compliment a guy's ever given you?
  Any compliments are nice... Most compliment the laugh and personality

Skeptic, please blog! I think he is not the right one if you're questioning so much already. If a guy is making you question so much he is NOT worth your time. Or are you just being "The Skeptic?"
Men, you can not assume ANYTHING! Be very clear with emotions! Better yet actually have emotions! You can't buy them at a store.

I still have that half-faster bothering me. Former friend's ex. Today he sent me a text asking about the "RICE" method. He injured himself while running. I told him to RICE it. First time I told him what it means. Now he wants to know again! Look it up on Google and stop bothering me if you don't know what that means. Nothing will ever amount here. It  is "A.W.K" when you said you have to tell me something. Then he just said forget it, never mind!
At least be man enough to say it! Thank God you didn't bother though because the answer is NO! I'm not interested. I don't want to hang out! It is weird! I can picture you with a former friend. G~R~O~S~S

Guys lately have just been blah. A few hang outs and nothing amounts from it.
I get the random I'm-going-to-talk-to-Disbeliever-for-a-few-days-and-then-fade-awaY. Or they comment on a lot of facebook pictures. Hmmm my pictures are made for commenting, boys. I just don't know! It is hard to find the right guy because I know exactly what I want.

Let me end on a postive note. It only takes one guy to find the right one. My next boyfriend will be the one! That must be the reason I have been single for soooo long.

Oh yeah. I also set my wedding date for September 14, 2014.
We have a deadline! Goodnight!

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

I'm not sure I can even call it a relationship yet

I thought new relationships were supposed to be exciting.  I guess that's because for my own past relationships, the very beginning was when we just couldn't spend enough time together and it was all we could think about and it was just blissfully happy.  Tra la la.

But... I also got badly burned in the end.

I'm not sure if I'm doing things wrong this time, or if I had been doing it wrong all along.  It could be that getting burned has made me very scared and protective of myself.  Whatever is going on, this time is very different.  Taking things verrrrry slow.  I'll let you know how it turns out.  Stay tuned.  :)


Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

As if I need any other reason

Reason #51 why I don't like clubs:  unsolicited dance floor grinding.  I don't want to feel your thing before I see your face, thankyouverymuch.

That is all.


Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Oh, what the hell.

I really am a good girl.

I don't lie, I don't cheat.  I don't leave work early, I don't exaggerate on my resume, and I'm honest on my taxes.  I am also incapable of dating more than one person at the same time.  Some say I'm really picky about who I date.  Maybe I am.  A little.

So from that standpoint, I suppose making out with a strange guy in a bar counts for "going wild" in my book.  Right?

I don't intend to repeat such crazy behavior often.  And it wasn't about that guy (who, as it turns out, is from Ireland and just out of University working in the States installing sheetrock--um, does that make me a cougar?), and it wasn't about the making out (although it has been far too long).  Rather, it was mostly about something in me that just wanted to do something out of character, something memorable and non-routine, something to make me feel alive and wanted.

Check, check, check.


Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Half-Fasters

So I get this phone call today from this half-faster.

The background information: This guy is a former friend's ex bf.
I'm suddenly available "meat" to this guy.

He calls me today, saying, "I have something I got to ask you, but I can't say it." I just kind blow this question off. It was weird!
He then proceeds to talk about running forever!
He gets back onto having to ask me something, but he can't do it.
I asked, "What is it?" Nothing gets to me when it comes to embarrassment.

To make a long story short, guys must commit when asking a female out!
I know he is going to call back in a few days with enough balls to complete the asking out task. Unless he read this then he won't call. I don't know. So far we have almost 6,000 hits. I know you people are reading. Do I know who? Nope. Do I care? Not really. Haha.

Fully commit when you ask girls out!
Here is the line you have to say:
Would you like to go to _________ for dinner (insert Monday,Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday here)? You must insert the day here otherwise I'd def blow the guy off. I wouldn't think he is serious at all. Especially if you use this exact format. But I can't say no to a fan of the blog!

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Cosmopolitan: August Edition

Dear Cosmo,

Can you please change? I wasn't feeling this month's issue at all...
Can you be anymore redundant?

Used- to- be- Love,
The Disbeliever

Miss Kim Kardashian is on the cover? What does this girl do?
Why is she every guy's dream? I don't know...
She is pretty, but work out your ass.

I had a lot of wants this issue: I want a gold 14k style dress (just like Miss Taylor Swift in her Covergirl ad), Lancome Paris makeup eye shadow, Nike Lunarlon running kicks, Maybelline falsies mascara, Crackle nai lpolish... Ok.. I'm off track this is not guy related. They definitely did a great job selling products this issue. That's about it though. The articles stunk!

Some highlights are: "How Old Should You Be When You Get Married" (p. 40) Woman should hold off until their late 20s. The reason for this is because it gives you more time to learn about yourself. Um, makes sense to me... I'm mid-20s now men haha.. Just so y'all are aware of my situation.

"Being Buds with Your Ex" (p. 45) Yeah it ended, but you and your former fling shared pretty key moments.Why not bury the hatchet and hang out? I cannot bury the hatchet if it is still in my ex's back. Haha just kidding. I don't understand why this magazine is saying to hang out with an ex. Time is limited! Why waste time on something that already didn't work out for whatever reason?

"How Kim Stays On Top" (p. 46) Kim Kardashian's article. I read it. Didn't pull anything good out of it. Can I have my five minutes back? The only good thing about this article is the title.

"The Sexy Confidence Guys Love" (p.53) Good old Justin Timberlake. What does this man want? He wants"

• Don't give a Damn- He likes a woman who doesn't personally care if others like her
• Tell an X-Rated Joke- Nothing better than a pretty girl with a nasty mouth
• Know Your Style- Wear what feels best for you
• Try Anything Once- Don't shut anything down without considering it
• Let Him Do All the Work- Enjoy the experience of what's happening now, instead of planning what is yet to come
• Own your Emotions- Guts to say exactly how you feel
• Be a Babe Among Boys- Hang with the guys. Don't try to be one
• Call Him Out- Calmly explain if he messes up in your relationship

Thanks for the good advice JT. Call me anytime day or night. I'm what your looking for haha...

36% of men say they are more attracted to a woman if she is using an IPad. (p. 68) EWWWWW!

"A Cosmo App for Your Guy" (p. 69) How many guys would really get this? Ever wish your BF or husband had the magical ability to know exactly what you want? Guess what! It's not going to happen so just tell him. A Cosmo App will not solve this issue.

"Do you notice if your girlfriend could use a pedi?" (p. 84) 80% YES!So go for those pedicures ladies.  

"Guys Rate 50 Sex Moves" (p. 110) Figure it out already! Geez.

"Are You Texting Him to Death"  (p. 118) Answer is yes! Just text him to mainly to send across a quick message. Anything else is an overkill! A quick sorry if you f-ed up. "I'm sorry, let's talk tonight." If you guys are at work, text for tonight's plans. Or after spending three nights together and all of a sudden you're apart. Text to show you're thinking of him.

I love the stories Cosmo writes.Whether it would be about surviving a rape, some type of attack or this months

"Being forced into being a sex slave" (p. 161). It is definitely sad stuff, but interesting. At least I feel like I'm expanding my mind a little bit from reading it. I always turn here first when the magazine arrives.  

  
 "Invasion of the Redheads" (p 166) I did dye my hair red for the 4th of July. I didn't get the idea from this magazine. I thought of it all by myself. I liked my red hair. My mother wanted to disown me from the family. Mostly postive feedback. A few negatives. According to Cosmo, if you want people to notice you, go red. According to Disbeliever, if you want redheads to notice you go red. Redheads are not my thing unless your name is Garret. Haha. Shoutout to Garret. I think he is the only attractive red-headed guy I've ever. Conan O'Brien has a hot factor as well. I think it is just because he is so freaken funny. Men are attracted to people who stand out. If you believe redheads are unique, sexy, and fearless the odds are you will become more of a hot-blooded man magnet. I enjoyed the change while the 28 washes lasted.

That pretty much sums up this months. As you can tell I wasn't into the magazine at all. Maybe I'm outgrowing it! Ahhh should I now read "Time"?

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

100th Post!

"You're tooooo picky." I heard these words today! I thought about this and concluded ~Nope. I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect here!
I'm looking for Mr. Perfect for me (as cheesey as that sounds). That is it!
I know exactly what I want. I place high expectations on potential dates.

I consider dating a learning experience. It is fun meeting new potentials with the possibility of it developing into more.

Dating can also be the ultimate mind fuck.
I'm not here to play games with you, or be the mother you've never had.
I found that to be the trend with past boyfriends. Nothing is more unsexy then mothering a man. You should do this or do that.
Figure it out on your own, Mr. Pathetic.
You can't be with someone else when you don't have your shit straight!

What am I hoping for in the next guy?
The next guy I date seriously I hope is "the one." Yes that is a lot of pressure, but I'm not playing games anymore. I know what I'm looking for and what I want in a man. Now you guys all have some catching up to do!

If you guys are all like holy $hit I better keep my distance from her..well most females think this way from 25 on.
Why get into a relationship with someone if you can't see yourself marrying that person?

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Can you unhook my bra? My back hurts....

“I’m going to have to unhook this,” my chiropractor said, sitting behind me with my back exposed in one of those medical tops that barely covers anything.

     By all means! I can’t do it….my back hurts.

     In all my times that I've been to chiropractors, I never had to take my shirt off. I wore one of those unsexy pieces of fabric that tie in the back. I left my bra on because I did not think it would interfere with what he had to do. He said, in the most awkward way, “I’ll leave the room while you change and leave the door open a little bit so I know you’re ready to proceed.”

     I really was cracking up when he left. “Proceed”!

     Unfortunately, I am now going to this chiropractor because the fees for the previous chiropractor that I mentioned in my last blog were much higher than the one I go to now. I did a search on Google for chiropractors in my town and he was the third one on the list. I read that he also has a physical therapist on staff. I emailed this chiropractor about my case. He happens to be a runner as well. Score! Good thing I clicked the “I’m feeling lucky” box on Google. J

I went for my free consultation the next day. I told him that I emailed him the day before. He figured it was me because he read my chart. I knew my insurance would not cover this, but he hooked me up! It pays to run. J I got major discounts for both chiropractic care and physical therapy! I’m his favorite. ;) I love having a doctor that runs. They understand...or they're just biased.

I could not keep a straight face from the second I met him! It’s bad! I felt sexual tension right from the start. I feel tension with every doctor that I go to (only the young ones). I don’t know what it is! Our personalities clash though. I am vibrant and he is dull, of course. He is not bad looking. I couldn’t look at him because I would blush. I hate that!

To break the ice, we talked about running. He asked me what my greatest distance was, which is a half marathon (13.1 miles). We just so happened to run the same half marathon this past May. I beat him by 25 minutes! He was so impressed. Haha he got beat by a girl! That sure deflated his ego.

       I am going to sign up for a free bootcamp week that his practice offers. One of its instructors wrote me in an email: "Rumor has it you took Dr. M. in a race. Love it!" He will never hear the end of this! What now, Doc!? I wasn’t even adjusted! I can’t believe he told this instructor about me! In fact, he even told a local running club about my case, being a runner and a virgin to chiropractic. He gave a 15-minute speech after my appointment. He is all about me running. I told him I am running the NYC Marathon next year. I said I’ll give him credit, but he will only take one percent. I should ask him to join my team. That would be so awkward!

Dr. M. attends the advanced bootcamp classes atat 5:45 a.m. That is too early! The instructor told me to attend that one because it's my level. FML. I wonder how this will pan out, seeing him at the bootcamp. Technically he is not at work, and I am not being treated. I’m still his patient though. This reminds me of a counseling case in my ethics class. Should the counselor/doctor initiate small talk or would that make the client/patient feel uncomfortable, considering he or she will see this person for an appointment? He will see me all sweaty. Ahhhhhhh this is weird! I am curious to see the dynamics though. For the good of the blog!

While he was (literally) on my back, he said, "I'm not on your shirt." I had no idea what he meant, so I didn't say anything. Then I think he realized that sounded bad, so he clarified, saying he doesn't see his name as a sponsor on the back of my shirt.

He said his patients waiting outside don’t like me. I asked why.

“I don’t know why. Do you know people who don’t like you?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Why don’t they like you? Because you’re faster than them?”

Is this conversation really happening?

Then he said something in French, as if I understood! Is he trying to impress me? To top it off, he said he used to date a Croatian woman! He is bringing up his personal life!

“Us chiropractors are crazy. Just like people who run marathons.”

What an insult!

I saw this chiropractor three days in a row. I'm spending more time with him than I would with a boyfriend! All days have been awkward. When I was done on day two, he helped me up from the lay-down chair and hugged me! “Welcome to the chiropractic family,” he said. I almost burst out laughing! He says some weird stuff!

The last two days he showed more of a personality— laidback and inappropriate! He wore a shirt and jeans. What he was saying shocked me! I met with him for an hour on my second day. He was lecturing about the spine and a bunch of way-out-there jibberish, which I did not understand. He must be an alien. Actually, he does look like one.

There is a picture of him holding a black baby girl (he is Canadian) on the reception desk. No woman in the picture. I don’t know if he adopted her or something. I do not want to get involved with a guy with child or who was divorced…or is married! I don’t want that baggage!

We went over my results and I have two problems that need adjustment, in addition to a tight IT-Band which will be taken care of with physical therapy (done by a female…bummer) and Active Release Technique (ART). He performs ART on me each time I see him. It’s a godsend! I have a love/hate relationship with ART though. It hurts like a mofo, but it works! I also find it sexy in a way.

“Ow…..oww.....ow…owwwwwwww!” I shouted in pain. I’m very vocal. ;)

“You can curse,” he said.

“I don’t curse.”

“How come?”

“It’s just a choice. There are other words I can use. I don’t get angry much anyway.”

“I’m impressed.”

Wow! It turns me on when he does ART to me. My leg is in the air and he is pressing down with his thumb with full force. “This is what is going to make me retire early (meaning his sore thumb),” he said. I try to dissociate myself from this experience because it gets really painful. It helps to think that a hot guy is on top of me doing that. Hot! I hope I don’t make any of “those” faces.

He is closed on Fridays, but he really wanted to see me the next day to see how I reacted to treatment overnight. He taught a Pilates class earlier that day, so he was in his office anyway. I was his only patient. He opened the doors just for me. There was a woman from the Vitamin Shoppe there, too. Apparently, she is going to make him “famous” at her store. He told her that I am going to take first place in the marathon. I like the compliments, but I wonder what that woman was thinking about what is going on! 

He is saying some inappropriate things to me now. I know he can pretty much do or say whatever he wants, but I think he is crossing the line! For instance, in counseling it is unethical to touch a patient (handshake is OK only if they initiate it). I know that his job is very touchy feely, but that is allowed only during treatment. I extended my hand to him before leaving. He hugged me instead! “Thanks for trusting in me,” he said.

I will post a weekly update to track his progress. Who wants to bet that he will ask me out in three months (the extent of treatment)?

Keepin’ it real,

  Realist

Doc, can you check me out?

          I get checked out a lot by men — even those that hold a stethoscope. Hear my heart beat, doc.

Thump. Thump. Thu-thump. My heart skips a beat.

I enlisted in the help of a chiropractor who also does physical therapy to alleviate my IT-Band syndrome. I met him after a race in March. I was so impressed that he knew my problem without me giving him much information. I was sold on going to him when he did Active Release Technique on my IT-Band. Wow! It was amazing! I really felt a difference. I told him I’ll definitely pay him a visit.

I kept my promise. I went to see him last week and he remembered me. Who can forget this face? He remembers me as the “laughing runner”. Who can forget this laugh? I’ve never had so much fun at an appointment before! What I love about him is that he actually has a personality (a rare trait of doctors)! I felt like I was talking with a friend. We immediately established rapport. I was very open with him. I admitted my running/exercise addiction, which is something I do not tell doctors because I know they are going to curse at me with the “r” word: rest. Since I trusted him, I felt comfortable enough to tell him. I was ready to hear it. I needed to hear it from someone who has been there and someone who will punish me if I don’t follow the treatment plan. He advised —no— ordered me not to run this weekend. 

I ran a 5K that Sunday. I placed first in my age group. The only reason I did that race was because it was in my neighborhood. I couldn’t resist running with my fellow hood rats. He doesn’t know that I relapsed.

      He said I should take two days off a week. “Off” meaning…

      “Doing nothing!?” I whined.

“Yup! Absolutely nothing!” 

He had to be joking. My back cracked up when he said that.

     He worked on my quads, IT-Band, and my lower back and showed me some stretches to do at home. I had to bend down in front of him three times. (You know what that looks like.) He put an electrode stimulator (massage) on my lower back (lumbar…oh yeah) and on my butt cheeks! He pulled my shorts up and shoved two massage pads on my butt! I did not expect that. My eyes were O_O Good thing I was face down. 

I got a butt massage for 12 minutes. It relieved the abuse from all that spanking.

The doc and I cracked jokes (in addition to the snap, crackle, and pop of my back). I can see myself going out for a drink with him. I never thought I would say that about any doctor. He’s just that cool! I know there is a boundary. I struggle with this same issue as well when I counsel hot students. It’s not fair! 

He’s married with a kid though. That doesn’t mean anything these days. It’s just hot when he touches me. I love physical therapy! I compare it to sex. No wonder it’s called “physical”.

“This is going to be fun,” he said.

I grin and nod.

 “Three times a week,” he said.

“Do these stretches three times a week?” I asked, holding my stretching homework sheet.

“No. I want to see you three times a week,” he smiled.

Is this a date?

Keepin’ it real,
   Realist

He's a Slow Grower

The postive
What you see is what you get. That is refreshing. Plus I love a good sense of humor with an appreciative laugh.
Ahhh! I'm very happy. He's not shady. This is strange.
For the first time in my life I feel I don't have to be a detective on a case.
Strange feeling.

The negative
On a new note: If I defriended you this week know that you're scum.
How DARE you run your mouth about shit that IS NOT true!

<3 Disbeliever disbelieving 24/7

Ms. Independent is Secure

      “Ms. Independent.” It’s been said by many a rapper and hip hop artist. It’s also been said by an ex. I dumped him right then. Over text. I was bored at work. I needed some entertainment.

I love taking personality assessments. I question the validity of these quizzes, especially if they are in magazines such as Cosmopolitan. I decided to take a test in “Decode your Love Style” (June 2011). The article said that people are usually one of three “romantic types”-- avoidant, anxious, and secure. These types are based off a personality theory, called attachment theory. While this is mostly applied to the parent-child bond, it is also applicable to couples. The Disbeliever and I both scored “avoidant.” We are Ms. Independents! Even though I scored a perfect score for “avoidant,” I do not identify with it after reading the description.

I don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. I love myself. J I never went through a boyfriend’s phone, even if it was right in front of me. I do not put my relationship status on Facebook, whether I am single or not. No one needs to know! I do not mope if I don’t see my man on a weekly basis. I have my friends! Based on these characteristics, I am definitely the avoidant type. “You are all about doing things on your own and enjoy calling the shots” (p. 127). The first part (before “and”) is true, but not the rest of it. “You worry that being committed to someone will mean a loss of independence,” (p. 128). I don’t feel “hot and cold” and I don’t distance myself when I feel “overwhelmed” or when I can’t stick to my “agenda”. I don’t crave the freedom. I still act like my own person, but I am not going to shove the guy away if he wants to join in on the fun (with the exception of girl’s night out). I also don’t have a hard time compromising and I don’t cut people off. I let them talk.

For the secure type, I scored three out of six. My friends come to me for relationship advice; I’ve had my share of flings and long-term relationships; and I like to take turns in picking what to do and I am open to suggestions. Here’s the real me: “When it comes to being in love, you have a serious advantage— for the most part, you are even-keeled and emotionally available and have faith that love can last” (p. 129). The article continues to explain that I am “very comfortable” with who I am (yes) and that I “don’t think of love as something that has to be dramatic or difficult.”

Women in this category also have a “low-key attitude about arguing,” which may come across as ambivalence. This is def accurate. My arguing style is silence, but it comes across as if I don't care. I just don't like wasting time being angry! I tend to avoid conflict, but I need to face it. I just like to be drama-free! “Your chill persona allows him to maintain that sense of independence that’s so important to this type. However, you do need to know when to call him on the BS” (p. 129). I sure will!

The validity of these quizzes is questionable, as evidenced from my results. It should not be taken to heart. Everyone dabbles in a few of these love styles— anxious, avoidant, and secure. All that matters is that I am secure with myself. J

Keepin’ it real,

   Realist