This morning, I arrived at work bright and early, enjoying the gorgeous sun and Spring breeze. I made my way to the cafe in my office for a lovely tall cup of ice coffee. Unexpectedly, however, I found myself in line behind a guy who made me weak in the knees. I truly could think no other thought than "you are so cute. you are so cute. you are so cute." Yet I could do nothing to take advantage of the situation--I found myself at a loss for words, and let the opportunity slip away.
I could blame it on the fact that the guy never made eye contact with me (and I wasn't about to just fall into him and say "oops.") I could blame it on the fact that he was in line chatting with a girl, and one can never tell how "platonic" a relationship is with a colleague. Those things may have been true, but the more likely explanation for my speechlessness has to be my stifling shyness.
I suppose some of it stems from lower self-esteem. I've been a "dork" my whole life, and the girl who grew up as the class nerd just doesn't feel like she's worthy to talk to the guy who makes her weak in the knees. Yes, the real world is very different than high school, but some feelings run deep. Striking up conversations with strangers doesn't come naturally to me. Maybe that's why I'm still single.
Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic
