When it rains, it pours.... but I still want a hurricane

Second date with the model yesterday went well, but I came away with mixed feelings. Second dates often leave me that way. The nerves/excitement of the first date are eased a bit, and the second date opens you up to really think about whether you want to see someone more regularly or not. With the model, the chemistry is great, and he's very witty so our conversation is very easy, casual, and relaxed. And yet.... something feels off. I don't mind keeping things casual when first dating someone, since putting extra pressure on it I think ruins it, and being overly-romantic too soon makes me feel a little bit barfy and uncomfortable. But there has been zero romance or seriousness so far. Despite the witty and sparkling conversation, I don't feel a serious connection with him yet. And even though he must be interested in me at some level (he hangs in there for 5- or 6-hour long dates, he's showed a little bit of a cuddly side, etc.), he doesn't ask me much about myself to get to know me, aside from complimenting my watch or bracelet he doesn't say anything about what he likes about me, and there are no subtle romantic gestures at all. I don't want to be too sappy or romantic, but I think I need just a little something. Like..... does he even honestly like me?

So..... I just don't know.

In other news, work guy did ask me out, although now that I'm on vacation, it'll be another week or two before that can happen. So I did a little internet stalking on him to see what I could learn. He seems like a genuine guy with similar values and interests. But.... he also seems very religious. I'm not a total heathen or anything, but people who are uber-religious scare me a little. I'm going to be open-minded about this, because I won't know anything about his perspective on all of that until I get to know him. But that can be a touchy issue, so I'm not sure how that kind of match would work.

I know that beggars can't be choosers, and this is WAY more action in my dating life than I've seen in a LONG time. But I can't help being anxious for something to work. Anything--for longer than a month or two. I'd settle for just someone I can get a little excited about. And right now my prospects aren't quite like that--at least not yet. I want more.

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Cue the "Jeopardy" music

It's been two weeks now since I went out with the model. Still no update there--he's been in California for work, and I'm busy this coming weekend, so the next time we can get together isn't until next week--over three weeks after our first date. It feels like an eternity.

The thing is, I think it's true that absence does do a little something. Our first date went well, and I do want to see him again, but it was still only one date, so it's too soon to really have feelings or really know much at all other than we'd just like to go out again. Yet.... I find myself missing him a little. And it has little to do with how well our date went, and more to do with how long it's been since I've seen him. Now I find myself thinking about him, wishing we on more of a regularly texting basis (but holding myself back from contacting him too much because it's too early to be clingy). Ugh. I hate all the stupid "rules" of dating. But I do find it funny how delaying our second date is messing with my head.

In other news, there's a guy at work who definitely has a crush on me. I don't know him well enough to have a strong opinion about it, but he seems nice, so I'd go out with him (boy, are my standards that low?). Stay tuned on that.

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Just a little comic

Happy Friday everyone!

 

Trying to stay positive,

Skeptic 

Recap: The Model

Last night I went out with the model for our first date, and the jury approves so far! I would definitely go out with him again. We enjoyed a lovely walk along the waterfront (it was a spectacular day!), some sushi, and a couple drinks at a rooftop bar.

The quick rundown on the first impressions:

On one hand,

• Great banter--things were a little slow to start (as they usually are when you meet a stranger), but once I made a crude bathroom joke, I think he loosened up a little bit and I got to see more of his fun personality. He said he was surprised and didn't expect something like that to come from me. Do I come across as stiff or prude or something? Anyway, after that the conversation flowed very well, and naturally.
• Never dated anyone of his heritage before, so that's a first for me. Can't say I've ever been attracted to anyone of his heritage before, but this guy is cute, so you never know! Don't rule things out!
• It was very nice kissing him. A little sloppy, but not a dealbreaker. We can work on that. :)

On the other hand,

• We split the check. I know that sounds bad, and I'm generally fairly progressive in a long-term dating relationship about balancing that out (it's not the guy's burden to always pay), but I'll admit that I'm slightly old-fashioned when it comes to a first date. I nearly always pull out my wallet when the check comes, but guys usually tell me to put it away. I was a little surprised that he didn't.
• He's a bit small for a guy--my same height, and skinnier than me (grr....). Not a huge deal, although I'll admit not the type I'm usually attracted to. I'll try to be open-minded here.
• He disappeared to the bathroom 4 times. Granted, our date lasted a long time--over 5 hours--so bathroom breaks are completely reasonable. But I don't think he was drinking any more than I was and I didn't have to go once. I'm a little bit of a camel in that respect, so it wouldn't surprise me if he had to go once or twice, but 4 times seems a bit much. Was he doing something else in there? Texting his friends? Looking for an escape route out the window? Pleasuring himself? I'm curious about this.

Hoping I'll see him again soon!

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Can't say no

Every once in a while I make myself do something uncomfortable for the sake of getting out of the house, meeting people, and practicing being social and playing the single courtship game. Tonight's experiment was a singles mixer a'la "Meetup." 

It wasn't too bad--there were actually a lot of people there, and if I really too my time to look around the room, there were some cute guys there, too.

Problem was, those weren't the guys I was talking to. I was talking to all the schmos who seemed to line up after each other to talk to me, none of whom I had any attraction to at all.

The problem is, I don't know how to gracefully say no. I can talk to anyone, and I can be quite friendly and polite, so maybe these guys thought that meant chemistry, but the reality was I was trying to figure out how I could get out of the conversation. I just can't ever think of any way to do it gracefully, and I feel terrible about stopping abruptly and saying "well it was nice to meet you," and walking away. I even feel bad saying no if they ask for my number.

So, while I had a decent time, I didn't end up with any prospects I'd really like to see again. So what's the secret? How do you gracefully say you're not interested?

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic