Every so often!

You come across a gooooood guy and can breathe a sigh of relief that they DO EXIST! Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! Heck I'll praise the Lord one more time! Happy as a clam/lamb!

The one that never was

I was reflecting on a situation I was in a while back, and thought I'd share about it here and get some of your thoughts.

Have you ever met someone that was horribly and disappointingly unavailable, who was perfect for you?  Like, just the timing was very, very wrong?

A while back, I met a guy through a mutual acquaintance at a party.  We talked for a while over beers before the rest of the party arrived.  He was cute, funny, and the conversation was refreshingly natural and ever-flowing.  We clicked instantly.  On rare occasions do you meet someone who is just on your exact same wavelength, and this was one of those occasions.  I thought for the entire conversation how much I wanted to go out with this guy officially.  Then after a little while, shortly before the other people arrived, he mentioned a key word in one of his sentences:  wife.  He was married. 

DAMMIT! I thought.  I don't fault him at all for not mentioning it sooner--he did nothing wrong, and we were just having casual conversation.  But man, that was not welcome news.  See, I am a good girl.  I would never ever break up a couple, or even put the guy in a tempting situation. Which is why after hearing this news, I have kept my distance from even becoming close friends with this guy.

Something similar ever happen to you?  Share your stories!

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Poor guy.

This weekend I took myself to an alumni football-watching gathering at a bar in the city.  I was quite proud of myself, since I had gone alone and knew the place would be packed with nowhere to sit, which would force myself into social situations with others (namely, men).  And indeed, the game had just barely begun when a gentleman turned an eye toward me and introduced himself.

I am admittedly not very good at casual conversation with people I don't know.  I find small talk boring and feel like it's the same stale conversation every time.  However, I have had conversations with some folks I just met and could tell that I instantly clicked with them--something in the way the conversation flowed, was interesting, and took a few unexpected turns.  So I know it's possible to connect with someone right away.

I give him credit for doing all the right things.  He asked me what I do for work, what I do for fun, talked about the game we were watching, etc. etc.  All the typical small talk things.  But by the time half time rolled around, there had been enough awkward pause to fill the humane society (eh? get it?), and I found myself wondering if I would have to put up with this for the entire game (FWIW, the duration of a football game is a long time to keep up awkward small talk).  So even though at the beginning of the game, I thought, "this guy is kind of cute--as long as he's not a complete asshole, I'd give him my number," by halftime I was thinking, "wow, it would be really nice if I could talk to some of the other cute guys here...."  

Example of some of our odd conversation:
Him:  I like to go to concerts.
Me:  Yeah?  What was the last concert you went to?
Him:  I went to see the Cure at Madison Square Garden.
Me:  Oh wow, are they still touring?
Him:  No.  Well, I don't think so.  That was a long time ago.
Me: (thinking) are you sure you like to go to concerts.....?
 
I was also pretty claustrophobic at that point (I don't even know how the servers maneuvered around that place--I was pinned to the wall).  So I told him it was nice to meet him, and left.

Yeah, maybe I missed an opportunity, but he should have asked for my number sooner!  Close the deal!  Sure, I was moderately interested at first, but I was annoyed that I was stuck talking to him when I could have been talking to all sorts of people!  Not a good idea to wait until I'm bored.  As I walked away from the bar, I considered the situation.  What should I have done differently?  What should he have done?  Did he do all the right things?  What are your expectations for the pickup song and dance?

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Well, damn.

So SanFranMan just rejected me.

Maybe I shouldn't be bothered by it, since it wasn't really anything serious anyway.  But man, it still sucks to be rejected.


Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Ergh part 2

I may be the world's biggest fool.

Yeah, I know I said I would stop things with SanFranMan.  Then his birthday came, and I found myself sexting with him all over again.  Now I'm back in the same place of wanting him to come to visit, but for this reason or the other, he can't schedule a trip.  Are the reasons genuine and unavoidable, or is he just keeping me on the hook?  I know not.

It's bad, yo.  I haven't been on a date in so long that I can't even remember the last time I had one (but I know it's been at least a year).  That's long enough that I think pretty lousy of myself, which is not helping me actually get a date, and certainly wouldn't make any potential date any fun.  It's a horrible downward spiral.  Meanwhile, I am still on the job hunt (which does not help the aforementioned feeling of lousiness about myself), which means I could be moving at the drop of a hat.  So what point is there in making an effort, or getting to know someone, or signing up for an online dating service?  Maybe that's why I slipped back into flirting with SanFranMan--because at least it's SOMEthing fun to do, and it's nice to get attention from a guy, even if he is across the country.  But I am frustrated to the max and not a happy camper.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.............

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Another circle back !!!!

All fun things must come to an end

I told SanFranMan I didn't want to continue our long-distance flirtations (or whatever you would call it) anymore.  The whole thing felt basically like a 3 month prolonged foreplay leading up to something, but when he said he cancelled his trip here to visit, there just didn't seem like much point anymore.  It was definitely fun for a while, but it had gotten to the point where I was just even more frustrated, so it was doing more harm than good.

The sad thing to admit is that I really liked the attention.  It's been far too long since a guy showed any interest in me at all.  It feels good for someone to tell me I'm attractive for a change, as superficial as that is.  And since I know how terrible I am at initiating anything with a guy, it may be a long time before I get to hear it again.  *sigh*

Yeah, I know I'm waxing melodramatic now.  I guess when multiple areas of my life seem to not be going well, it's difficult to be optimistic about this one area.

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic