Recap: The Model

Last night I went out with the model for our first date, and the jury approves so far! I would definitely go out with him again. We enjoyed a lovely walk along the waterfront (it was a spectacular day!), some sushi, and a couple drinks at a rooftop bar.

The quick rundown on the first impressions:

On one hand,

• Great banter--things were a little slow to start (as they usually are when you meet a stranger), but once I made a crude bathroom joke, I think he loosened up a little bit and I got to see more of his fun personality. He said he was surprised and didn't expect something like that to come from me. Do I come across as stiff or prude or something? Anyway, after that the conversation flowed very well, and naturally.
• Never dated anyone of his heritage before, so that's a first for me. Can't say I've ever been attracted to anyone of his heritage before, but this guy is cute, so you never know! Don't rule things out!
• It was very nice kissing him. A little sloppy, but not a dealbreaker. We can work on that. :)

On the other hand,

• We split the check. I know that sounds bad, and I'm generally fairly progressive in a long-term dating relationship about balancing that out (it's not the guy's burden to always pay), but I'll admit that I'm slightly old-fashioned when it comes to a first date. I nearly always pull out my wallet when the check comes, but guys usually tell me to put it away. I was a little surprised that he didn't.
• He's a bit small for a guy--my same height, and skinnier than me (grr....). Not a huge deal, although I'll admit not the type I'm usually attracted to. I'll try to be open-minded here.
• He disappeared to the bathroom 4 times. Granted, our date lasted a long time--over 5 hours--so bathroom breaks are completely reasonable. But I don't think he was drinking any more than I was and I didn't have to go once. I'm a little bit of a camel in that respect, so it wouldn't surprise me if he had to go once or twice, but 4 times seems a bit much. Was he doing something else in there? Texting his friends? Looking for an escape route out the window? Pleasuring himself? I'm curious about this.

Hoping I'll see him again soon!

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Can't say no

Every once in a while I make myself do something uncomfortable for the sake of getting out of the house, meeting people, and practicing being social and playing the single courtship game. Tonight's experiment was a singles mixer a'la "Meetup." 

It wasn't too bad--there were actually a lot of people there, and if I really too my time to look around the room, there were some cute guys there, too.

Problem was, those weren't the guys I was talking to. I was talking to all the schmos who seemed to line up after each other to talk to me, none of whom I had any attraction to at all.

The problem is, I don't know how to gracefully say no. I can talk to anyone, and I can be quite friendly and polite, so maybe these guys thought that meant chemistry, but the reality was I was trying to figure out how I could get out of the conversation. I just can't ever think of any way to do it gracefully, and I feel terrible about stopping abruptly and saying "well it was nice to meet you," and walking away. I even feel bad saying no if they ask for my number.

So, while I had a decent time, I didn't end up with any prospects I'd really like to see again. So what's the secret? How do you gracefully say you're not interested?

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

I like my drawings to be really big

There's one guy I've been exchanging messages with lately on OKC, is cute and mysterious, despite OKC declaring that we wouldn't be a good match (through its "percentage match" system, which I don't really understand, so I don't grant much validity). I found out today that he has a part-time side job as an art model. What's funny about that is, I'm an artist who works with a lot of live nude models.

I actually find this kind of amusing. This inspires any number of cheesy one-liners, like:

"What's your favorite position? I mean, pose?"
"So are the artists ever nude when they draw you? Want me to be?"
"Wanna go back to my place and make some art together?"
"Want me to draw you, Jack, like one of those French Girls?"
 

All right, all right, I'm not bold enough to actually lay down a pickup line like that, but it doesn't stop me from joking about it. This guy should be an interesting one to meet in person. Stay tuned for that.

By the way, I'd love to hear some of your one-liner ideas in the comments. :)

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Gorgeous porker?

My Match.com subscription ended, so now I'm back to OKC. Never had much luck with it before, but damn, I'm stuck. I'm pretty tired of nothing going on in my dating life. At this point I'm not too picky--I just want some guy to take me out if for no other reason than to boost my confidence so I'm not giving off a depressed vibe all the time (which I'm sure is not helping the situation). So what was the first message I got after firing my account back up? It was from a 21-year old self-described "video game nerd," saying "wow, you are absolutely gorgeous!"

*sigh*

In other news, three people have told me in the last two days that they thought I lost weight. While this should be a compliment, because the reality is that I have not changed weight in a long time, it actually makes me wonder what kind of porker I am in these people's heads/memories. Commenting on someone's weight is really never a compliment, so let's all just lay off the subject, mmmkay?

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

British invasion

I logged back in briefly to DateBritishMen, which evidently launches me back to the top of search results or something, because I've suddenly started getting messages from all sorts of British men again. Because I'm not a paying member, I've had them email me directly, and because they don't always tell me their handle in their emails, I don't know what they look like or anything about them when I get their messages other than what they tell me (which usually isn't much). It's made me a bit reluctant to write back--I'm open to adventure to a degree, since these guys live across the world and would mainly be a pen pal for the time being, but I would feel a bit more comfortable if I knew SOMEthing about them.

Every once in a while, they do share their handle so I can look them up. Here's one who wrote to me yesterday:
 
Not a great haircut, if I'm being honest, but if I can get past that, he's sort of cute.

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Impromptu date with the Great Dane

Yesterday I had connected the Great Dane with a friend of mine as a networking favor, and when I heard he hadn't left the area yet (he's on a 3-week tour of the US with stops in 5 cities), I wrote to him, "I didn't realize you were still in the city! Had I known we could have met up for happy hour! Well, next time you're in the area, you have another person to show you around town." He wrote back immediately to say, "My flight isn't until tomorrow morning--want to do dinner tonight?" I know how some of you feel about last-minute dates, and although I would have liked a little more time to recover from a hot and humid day, this was my only chance to go out with this guy, so I did the best I could to freshen up quickly and I jumped at the chance. Since up until this point we had really mostly just done "networking," I wasn't sure it was an actual date, but I think it counts.

We met in midtown and after briefly meeting his friend with whom he was staying (who had to rush off to work), we headed downtown to a cozy little Thai restaurant. We ate and talked for a couple of hours (he paid), then walked around a bit so I could point out some things around town (my city knowledge is somewhat limited, but I've picked up a few things over the years). We ended up in this hidden little speakeasy-20's type bar that we never would have noticed if not for FourSquare. Lovely jazz band playing, cute bartenders wearing button-down shirts, striped pants, and suspenders. I playfully pointed out to Great Dane that he should be wearing suspenders. He added, "Yes, and a hat." "Yes! A fedora." I said, and swooned. Yes, I fluttered--I love a fedora on a man. He playfully said I should be wearing a dress with one of those low-scooped backs. "Oooh, sexy," I said. After enjoying a drink there and realizing it was nearly 1am (and he had to leave at 4am for a 6am flight), we decided to call it a night and I helped him find his train. I had been hoping for a little smooch, but instead I got a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Boo.

It was a very romantic evening. We were both oozing charm--eye contact with smiles, lots of closeness (walking so close together our arms were in constant contact, huddling close together under an umbrella and when we shared pictures on our phones or consulted a city map, little gentle touches here and there while talking). Maybe that's just how they are in Denmark and it didn't mean anything. But either way, nothing will likely come of it other than a friendship. He lives in Denmark. 'Nuff said. I had a fantastic time, though. That just seems to be my luck. *sigh*

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic

Something else to try

Anyone reading this ever try It's Just Lunch?

Given that I can't stand online dating because it feels unnatural and I just have no luck on it, and I'd be more interested in meeting people if it was casual and no-pressure, this seems like it could be the perfect thing for me. Just wondering if anyone has tried it and what it's like. I might try it anyway, because why not, right?

Side note: I have to give IJL props for their marketing. I heard about them from an ad in an airline magazine, in which they appear to be targeting professionals who are too busy to scour through online dating profiles. Good work, guys, you got me!

Trying to stay positive,
Skeptic